Why I now have to think of something else to do next year.

I must say that I was somewhat in a bad mood when I logged in, but I'm still deciding whether you want to hear about it. Anyway, I was met by the brilliant surprise of some comments!

Sorry. I'm somewhat excitable now that I finally came out of the doldrums. It was just great to think that out there are people like me that not only have to deal with writing the story that rules their minds, but with their lives as well. I realized that I'm not the only one struggling with something that unexpectedly feels very very wrong.

For that I thank you, Lua, Serena and Jen.

OK... I give up. I'm just going to have to get this out there. However, because I am now out of the doldrums, my temper that I spent the entire day reining in is now pacing in its cage waiting for me to type, so I include the following:

WARNING!!! MAJOR RANT TO FOLLOW. DON'T FEEL OBLIGED TO READ BEYOND THIS POINT UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I MIGHT NOT GO TO THE NAVY AFTER ALL...
I tried not to come over as screaming, but as I wrote this I became progressively annoyed, especially when it comes to my having to limit my wording due to the general perception, the perception that certain people advertise... and reality. Because of this, the ending of the post is somewhat vague, but if you know what I am talking about and or want me to explain what I am talking about, feel free to drop me a comment or e-mail. I just really wanted to this off my chest.  

Anyone ever walk into a place where you have to fill in an application to something that you REALLY want to do? Any of you got looked at for the merest of moments by the dragon presiding over the forms, before the beast tries to make use of every single weak excuse in his arsenal to ensure that you don't get access to the forms?

That's where I am now. And as much as I try to at least maintain a veneer of optimism, I'm contemplating to apply for something else in stead next year. Because if I get accepted to the interviews for the navy this year, I'll eat my seven-subjects-in-one-sitting Cambridge International Examinations A-levels certificate for starters before tucking into my university results for mains (suffice it to say I took about forty or more modules. I never bothered to count them) and enjoying my degree for dessert.

Why the pessimism? On reporting for basic training, I will be one of the few people with degrees willing to sign up. I have two years' worth of university calculus and linear algebra among my many modules. (It's a bonus that they don't have to pay for) I want to sign up for combat officers training. I had to limit my leadership skills to a page. Yes... limit.

And the recruitment officer wanted to send me home because I have a foreign high school diploma. That's one thing, but anyone would think that he could have asked about how it compares to the South African version (Answer: vastly superior) Or... even better... He could have turned the page and noticed that I am at a South African University (arguably one of the best). 

I pointed this out along with the fact that they put me through to the interviews without a quibble last year. He smugly used that to point out the validity of his point, by asking why I was there.  

I (nicely, but with considerable effort) stated that it was due to medication I was taking at that stage. I am not even going to launch into that story now, but anyway, he then did this "I'm sorry my hands are tied" thing. 

I was still debating with him when his superior chose to walk in. He took one look at my documents, asked when my degree is done, why I took four years to finish and if I am a South African citizen. When I didn't give him an answer that could prompt him to send me home just like that, he gave me the application form. 

I filled it in, so why then, the somewhat softened rant? 

Remember that old post about analysing what someone says and what someone says? 

They were fishing for reasons to avoid handing out the application form. The same kind of thing happened with my brother, except that they could get away without being blatant about it. 

Paranoia?
Oh, no, my darlings. I'm just a child of my generation.

Why would they do this?
Because of this little commonality shared between me and my brother demography-wise. 

And so... here I stop, toeing that line that most South Africans sharing that commonality toe... 

But like I said. I wouldn't be surprised at all if I don't get called for an interview, let alone recruited. I just get so upset about things like this, where years are spent crying about something, but that same thing is then used with impunity in the years after. 

Smacks of hypocrisy, no?