Wow, time's flying. I can't believe it's already February. It's also time for another IWSG post. For those of you who don't know, IWSG is a bloghop hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh, where writers share their insecurities and encouragement once a month. It's never too late to join, so if you want to, go here.
On the night of 26 December, 2011, I suffered the most catastrophic loss of data ever. I'd used a certain freeware program to do all my rewrites, which added up to well over one hundred thousand words. After many attempts, I managed to save a few chapters of some of the projects. But the original rewrite of Doorways was gone. Luckily, I'd already started to edit at that time, so I had a copy if I declined all edits.
What broke my heart was this. I'd written a western that year. I rewrote it too. I finished the rewrite on 24 December.
I lost: Every. Single. Word.
Of all the words I wanted to recover, that project was it.
It broke me. Really. Sure, I went on with all the other projects I saved, but I just didn't have the heart to start the western again. So I postponed the rewrite to 2012. Didn't happen. And 2013. That didn't happen either.
But this will be the year. In fact, I'm going to read the rough draft today. By the end of the week, I want the first words of the re-rewrite down.
Thing is, I have this horrible thought. I'd loved the rewrite. I thought it was touching, and emotionally rich and brilliant. And I know that theoretically, I should be able to make this rewrite even better.
Except... what if I can't? What if I lost its heart and soul that night?
Needless to say, I know I'm being stupid, but the idea of opening that rough draft fills me with trepidation. Nothing to do but start, though.
Have you ever lost a project and delayed starting it again due to insecurity?