Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Rule of Three Blogfest: Troublemaker Part 4

Welcome back to Renaissance. I must say, I'm sorry that this is my last moments with these characters. I really loved and enjoyed them, but the very reason why I chose this story was because it could be told in more or less 2000 words. 
Anyway, for this last installment, we're back with Laine Masterson.

If you missed the previous installments:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Prompt used:
Relationships mend/ are torn asunder.

Word count: 489


Everything jars me. Every breath drums against my chest. Air burns my lungs. My heart beats quake through my body. All I can think of is the ring lying in an evidence bag. In the morgue. Like a message from the dead.
  What are you going to do? 

What am I going to do? 

My merciful mind flings me back to an easier time. To the perfume of warmed chocolate and fresh cookies. Keith with doe eyes and crumbs on his chin. “No mom, I didn’t steal any cookies.” 

I never notice the bustle in the offices anymore. I notice it now that it stops in consternation and shock.  

Maybe I should have told the staff that Jack would be bringing Keith in. But then, this is Renaissance. News could have reached Keith before Jack did. 

Keith. My son. 

I got him arrested. 

Guilt slams into me like a bullet to the head.   

Keith frowns as Jack leads him into my office. “Mom?”
“Sit down. Jack? Please bring us some bagels.”
Jack doesn’t bat an eyelash as he leaves. 

He should have. I shouldn’t be here, drowning in a conflict-of-interest soup. 


Keith’s prodding settles me a little. He always does it when I space out on him. I glance his way, knowing that I’m at the edge of disaster. If he really did have something to do with this… Do I really want to know?  

I close my eyes, unable to face him as I drop the bad news on his head. “Your father’s class ring was found in Sean Drummond’s hand.” 

A deep gust of breath rushes out of him. I open my eyes in time to see him putting his facial expression back together. “Oh?” 

What do I do? How do I react? “I have evidence putting you at the crime scene and all you say is ‘oh’?” 

He shifts forward in his chair, his face greying. “What sort of evidence? Only the ring?” 

The homicide detective in me snaps back before I do. She pipes up before I know to stop her. “DNA.” 

Any remorse I might have felt for the lie vanishes as I watch his grey skin turn a waxy white. 

“Impossible what? Impossible you weren’t there or impossible you’re too slick to leave evidence?” Det. Masterson’s on a roll.
Keith rubs both his hands down his face. “Mom! Could you be my mother for just a second?” 

So helpless. Like the boy he once was, left at home when I got called. All that time that we could have spent together… The least I can do now is have his mother present too.

I kneel down in front of him, grasping his knees and looking up into his terrified eyes. 

“Tell me you didn’t kill Sean.”

I wish with all that I am I didn’t spot his convulsive swallow.  

“I didn’t kill him.” 

No mom, I didn’t steal any cookies.


  1. Great flourish to the finish - especially since you're still leaving it _slightly_ open.

  2. Love how it leaves it just a tiny bit open. Loved even more the cookies line. Hard to pull one over on mom. Well done.

  3. Excellent conclusion, Misha. Sad, yet open to the possibility.

  4. You're so cruel! I loved how you stayed true to the characters you'd created and the cookies are a nice touch - thanks for sharing!!

  5. Excellent finish, the mother who is first a detective, can't be fooled.

  6. True to the characters, makes the story very believable. I just ached for this mother. Great story.

  7. That was a brilliant dialogue and such a great conflict!

    It seems every one has found a better ending to their story than I did, hmpf.

  8. argh. Heartrending. Great last line.

  9. The conclusion packs a punch especially with the last lie. Well done.

  10. "drowning in a conflict-of-interest soup."

    Love it!

    This can't be the end of the story. There has to be more. There just has to be! And that last line is downright chilling. Loved your story, Misha! :)

  11. Great last line. This was one gripping story!

  12. AHhhhhhh...I so did not want this to be the ending BUT it had to be. Excellent. Haunting. So very sad...and bitter.

  13. This was a magnificent conclusion! I really think these characters need more stories =)

  14. Ah Misha you star. Truly magnificent! You're in my top three for the blogfest, as you have been since week one...


  15. This was one of my favourite stories of the fest. I can't believe you didn't give us an easy ending. Darn! I really feel for these characters.

  16. Great ending! I love the way you paralleled his childish lies with the present...nicely wrapped up. Thanks for coming to visit mine too :0)


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