So? I changed my mind.

Ladies and gents, I have twenty minutes to write this down before getting back to my books, so sorry if I'm a bit hurried. (I will try to get to the posts I missed by Sunday, as well as finally giving away the award...)

Perhaps I will post something better later tonight, but I won't guarantee it. Investment Management 344 is like a Dementor. It sucks out my soul when I write it. (Ha! Bet you thought I'd never throw in a Harry Potter reference. I used to be quite the fangirl. And the simile was just too good to pass up.)

So... If I am absent, please don't be too worried, I'll just be busy picking myself off the floor with a spatula.

Anyway. When we hit fifty followers, I said that the next stop was 100. I never imagined that that would happen only a few weeks later. We're currently at 91 and so need only nine more. I wonder how quickly they will come.

But I've been thinking, we should be doing something to celebrate. Something different from my everyday ramblings. I unfortunately can't really do prizes, since one, I'm a student and have no money and two, I'm pretty much in a country where I will have to ship whatever it is off to a foreign country.

So... what to do? Well... I'm thinking that as soon as we hit 100 followers, I open the floor to you. You can ask me anything and I'll try to answer as honestly as possible. And, perhaps, I can hold a draw where the winner gets to give me a topic to write about in the blog.

Does that seem like a plan? If not, let me know. If you have a better plan, I really want to hear it. Any comments and/suggestions are welcome.

I have returned (mostly) alive.

Good evening all. It's now 22:30 CAT and I'm back. I would have been back sooner, but everyone I knew stopped me on the way to my car. (That's what I love about my university. Most of the people are so friendly.) And then I got a craving for decadence, so I went in search of good decaf coffee and then (with some effort) cream.

Why not? I wrote a test. I've been very good on my diet. And my diet allows decaf cappuccino's with cream in limited amounts. Hmmm... Just quickly making it.

Aaahhh now I feel human.

I just want to thank to all of you that left me your good wishes. It was wonderful reading them. (Yes. I read them every time I felt demoralized during my studies.)

Then I just want to let you know that tomorrow's post will only come along more or less this time too, since I have yet another test to write tomorrow night.

So I'm sort of stuck with a dilemma. I know what I'm going to do this weekend. I might go see a movie. Or I might take out a DVD. But I will definitely let my muse blow off some steam.

Thing is, she's tapping her foot right now. I'm not really that tired, but I can't help wondering whether I'll hate myself in the morning if I indulge her. She has this way of taking over all of my thoughts. One of those "give them an inch" kind of muses. I'm worried that if I start writing now, I won't be able to concentrate tomorrow.

Usually I can do both, but tomorrow is going to be intense. I can't juggle my thoughts.

So almost every part of me is screaming to let it go and sleep. Almost.

Another part is begging me to do something creative.

I wonder... 

I have exactly an hour before I absolutely HAVE to be asleep. What to do... what to do...

What do you all do when you suddenly have an hour free? What if your muse is begging you to write, but you know that it's a bad idea?

Be back soon.

Morning all, due to circumstances only marginally within my control, I will only be able to blog after ten o'clock tonight CAT. 


Please pray for me because the test I write tonight is a huge one. 


Love, 


Misha

On my muse's stellar personality.

Good morning all. Just a few arrangements before I post.

Firstly, welcome to my blog to all the new followers! I hope you enjoy what I write :-)

Secondly, my follower list was so nice as to scramble you guys, so I am having a little trouble tracing all of you back to your blogs. So please, if you're a new follower with a blog, and I don't pitch up in your follower list, please leave me a link to your blog.

Thirdly, my awards page will unfortunately have to wait until I've finished writing my test. I apparently need a better Internet connection for me to find all of the links, so I'll go to a campus computer lab on Saturday. Thank you all for understanding.

That done, on to my post.

I really think my muse is out to get me. At the very least, she doesn't like me as much as she ought.

She throws me into the deepest doldrums for months, or leave me without words right when I need her or want her to help. She's also nowhere to be seen when I have time to write.

Oh no. She'll kick my subconscious on mornings right before a big test. Or she'll start buzzing around my head while I have to focus on something else. Something like... say... studying for two tests on two consecutive tests.

Why, I ask myself often, does she do this to me? It's cruel. Making me want to write so much that it hurts, then leaving me just as I pick up my pen.

It's so unfair.

She always chooses the worst moments to hit me with an idea. Like in class, or in conversation with others.

For example:

Friend: My mother died last week. (Muse strikes in: three... two... one...)
Me: Awesome!
Friend: What?! My mother died! 
Me: Yes yes I know. But that works in my story. I'll let my MC's mother die. Great for character growth... Do you mind if I use it? (friend walks away forever.)

For those of you that are severely worried about me, this hasn't really happened - yet. But I can see my muse doing exactly that. She is that dark and twisted.

But then, it doesn't really help to complain. She's not going to change her ways for a mere mortal like me. All I can hope to do is finish my book and hope that she gets replaced in time for the next one. Still. If she doesn't, I still would keep her right here with me.

For all of her moods and quirks, she does give me awesome stuff to write - when the mood strikes her. And when I write, I'm very happy.

If only she could be a bit nicer to me....

What's your muse like? Do you have a muse? How do you cope with him/her being contrary?

Interesting thoughts.

So... meeting that guy got me thinking. Yes ladies and gents. The fates has thrown us together twice more since his last mention. Talk about twisted humor.  

Well... he got me thinking a lot. In fact, that's yet another thought added to the others that's nudging me a few steps closer to insanity. 

However, since I'm a (pretty much) grown woman, I'm going to forgo crying on your shoulders about him.

Let me just say that I'm more than a little irritated with myself. See, I know that going near him will be a very bad idea, but the more I realize this, the more I feel the pull to stop worrying about it and just go get him. But really. Given who I am and where I want to be going, it's a reaallly bad idea. Still...

See? Pa-freaking-thetic.

I'm a rational person. Hell, I'm pretty sure I could rationalize murder if I wanted to give it a shot. But I've been brought down hard by a pair of beautiful and sad brown eyes. Sigh.

There is one good thing to all this though. What I'm going through is very close to something that one of my characters has to go through. You see, he knows from the beginning that he's incredibly attracted to someone, but instead sees this a threat to his carefully laid plans. So this whole internal struggle must be roiling within him too. Especially because he hasn't a hope of avoiding her.

All in all good stuff. I just hope I can write it well so that it doesn't feel like he's moping all the time. Because he so isn't a moper.

Therefore, looking at the bright side, I can get a non-moper's perspective on the I-can't-have-him/her blues. Sadly, it isn't really much of a compensation. But it's something that should pay off in the long run.

Talk about suffering for your art. ;-P

Do you also use bad experiences when you write? How? Do you copy scenarios or do you only try to remember the emotions and replicate them? Either way, do tell...

Back to life again!

Ladies and gents, I feel awesome!

Despite having felt like a wrung out sponge yesterday, I felt like I needed to drag my carcass to church. So I did and experience one of the BEST church services I have EVER attended. So today I feel energized and ready for everything.

I'm still struggling with the awards page, but I'll try to have it figured out by tomorrow evening.

Also, I want to welcome all of the new followers and thanks for following. I hope you all enjoy it here. :-)

I'm going to have to keep this post short and sweet, since I have to get to class. Very sorry if this feels a little rushed, but there's nothing I can do about that. I can't blog later, since I have to get back to my studies.

So... my experiences this weekend got me thinking about writing. I loved this weekend, but it was so incredibly tiring. My energy and emotions felt so drained that I couldn't even think about touching a text book. Let alone studying.

I find that the same happens with my writing. I absolutely positively love getting into the zone, and when I get there, I see unrivaled productivity in my writing. When I'm there, I can write a quarter of a book in a single sitting.

But after that, I can't write at all. I feel tired and drained and as if my words have vanished. I sometimes feel as if I can't even blog properly after I got out of the zone. I don't even feel like writing.

So I just don't. Then before I know it, my muse will beckon me again and I will start writing little bits at a time until I'm back to writing torrents of words again.

Have any of you experienced this? How do you write? Do you ever get into a zone? Do you also get after-effects?

Sunday update

Morning all! I just want to ask that you all check out my awards page later this week. I have fifteen people that need to get their awards but my computer keeps freezing every time I try to pick them. Sigh... 


So yesterday left me feeling both excited and drained and unfortunately my energy levels are yet to return to previous levels. This means that I'm falling back to an update for Sunday.

Diet-wise, the wheels have well and truly come off this week, so I decided not to weigh myself until next week. Otherwise I know I'm going to become demoralized and beat myself up about it. I just never want food to rule my life, so if I want to cheat, I cheat, but then I will go to extremes to prevent the regret that follows it.

Writing-wise I'm quite inactive due to my study schedule, but I am taking a few breaks here and there to chat with Gawain.

In other news, my mom flew to Italy yesterday (which is making me jealous) and is due to land in Milan sometime soon. I hope she remembers to let me know when she arrived.

I also saw that guy again. Sigh. Someone Up There has a very perverse sense of humor.

Anyway, sorry for this bland and boring post, but right now I'm just pulling in as much energy as I can get...

What's news at your end?

Sorry for my absence, but I think it was worth it...

Evening all, I must apologize for not posting earlier today, but that Church workshop I mentioned a few days ago was today and I only just got back.

How did it go?

Hmm... how to answer that question...

I'd say... moderately to very well. Depending on what aspect we're talking about.

I met some great new people and got some extra assurance from the Big Man Himself.

I also got to experience some of his Power rushing through me. It's strange I guess. Many people get drunk with the Holy Spirit. But me? I get hit by it with the force of a wrecking ball.

Not that I mind. It's a rush no one can understand until they've been through it.

There were only two things that bothered me though. One was that I spent most of the day running up against some invisible wall. The wall 's gone now - after all, nothing withstands a wrecking ball of the scale I'm thinking - but a small part of me just isn't happy with what I managed to achieve today. Sigh.

The other is that of the Gifts of the Spirit that were discussed, mine got very little attention. It's not the Pastor's fault, but I'm still stuck with an acute sense of loneliness. He did, however, promise to put me in contact with someone who has the same Gift as me, so I'm holding my fingers crossed that this is the case.

Anyway, I guess that a lot of you will be thinking: "This girl has lost her mind!" Ladies and gents, I have not yet even begun.

But out of respect for the various faiths followed by people reading this blog, I am going to stop right here. If any of you are interested in knowing more about what's up in my travels with God or just want to chat and/or ask questions, you are more than welcome to contact me at mishagericke (at) gmail (dot) com. 

God Bless

Today I felt like blogging about something writerly.

Yes, I finally tired about writing about my life and how weird it is at the moment.

So I decided to write something about being a writer.

And then realized that my weird life is a writer's life and so it qualifies.

So I decided to write about writing.

And ran into a dead end.

OK... let me think...


Right. Here we go...

Certain songs always make me want to write. Other songs just remind me of my character so much that it feels like they're kicking my subconscious to remind me to write about them.

Yes, I know it's still early, but I woke up and pressed play to Muse.

And I must say that I love them. Their music is so emotional. Their lyrics are poetic - which is becoming rarer and rarer in these modern times.

It's also perfect that their songs seem to have been written for Darrion. (No, he doesn't sing in a falsetto.) But he tends to think about things that are themes in their songs. And of course, if you want to hear the most BAD-ASS song ever (and I'll be disappointed that you haven't heard it yet.), get Yes Please now. I'll give you a few minutes to enjoy...











With my homage to Muse out of the way. Let me move on to 30 Seconds to Mars. Their new CD This Is War always feels epic when I listen to it. (I'm so proud that I'm yet to mention that Jared Leto is the hottest male ever to grace guy-liner.) Oops. Moving on swiftly and with style... Kings and Queens is probably the song that sums Doorways up. It's all about potential, dreams and fighting for what you believe in. 

In the beginning, Callan is avoiding relationships with everyone. And then something happens... But I'm not going to spoil the story for you. But just because of her mixed feelings about love and relationships, her song is Love is Only a Feeling by the Darkness. There's another song, sung by the Veronicas that becomes her song as the story progresses, but due to the fact that some might catch on to what will happen, I'll leave that one up to your imagination. 

Gawain gets another Muse song called Unintended. It's one of their more relaxed songs, but that's not the reason why I picked it. See... Gawain, the cynical puppet master and person reader is going to run into his worst nightmare - someone he just can't understand. 

James's story is all about being pushed to leave a legacy, which is why Linkin Park's Leave Out All the Rest is his song. 

Another one of their songs, With You is another Bad-ass song. It sounds like a soundtrack to the relationship between the three first mentioned characters. They might not get along very well, but they're sticking together no matter what someone is throwing their way. 

And last but far from least, Ward. He's going through the same training as his best friend, James, but he's the one that changes the most from it - with as yet unknown effects on their friendship. A song that perfectly captures this is Right Before Your Eyes by Hoobastank. 

Those are far from the only songs that I listen to when writing. In fact, every character has a sound track at least three hours long that tracks their progress through the major plot points. Listening to music and thinking who it reminds me of and why is one of the ways that I get to know them. I also just pick songs that give me certain feelings, like joy or sadness - even fear and anger, so that I can easily summon up the emotions when I have to write difficult scenes. 

How do you get to know your characters? Do you also use music? If you do, what songs do you love and why?