Friday, November 7, 2014

In which a light becomes a message and miracle.

So... in case you missed it, this really strange thing happened on Wednesday morning.

And... well... I thought about rather not posting this, because I know it's controversial, but I'm going to anyway. Why? Because it's the truth and I realized how damaging it can be to a blog when the author lies, even when it's by omission. This post will contain religious overtones and more than just a little testimony. So if you're not interested, you might find reading one of my Wattpad stories more interesting.

Okay. Taking a deep breath here. While crying like a baby.

What I didn't tell you on Wednesday:








You know how Job felt when everything got taken away from him? Well. I can safely say I think my family and I got a great taste of it. Except for the bit where his entire family died. And where he lost everything basically in a day or two.

I'm not going to go into the costs for everyone in my family, but to give you an idea of my score card for 2014:

1) Publishing deal went SPECTACULARLY wrong by January.

2) My and my mother's business, which had taken a hit at the end of the year, didn't bounce back thanks in a large part to some laws our government wanted to pass.

3) The farm we'd moved to, which had been such a huge source of hope, despite the business taking a hit, soaked up our savings and offered pretty much nothing back. I am not going to talk about what had to be sacrificed as a result of this, because it's not pretty.

4) All of my hopes and dreams have basically been shelved until such a time that we could bounce back from all the spending on the farm. A farm, incidentally, that we were led to by God. 

5) Sacrifices and dream shelving aside, the person with whom we'd signed the buyer's contract basically sold it out from under us in September. Yes, we could have fought this, but after already spending so much and still getting nothing back, we just couldn't see a point to fighting for the farm. Besides which, we kinda realized that if God could open doors no one could close, and close doors that no one could open, it's pretty dang obvious from the way these doors were closing that God did not in fact want us to stay on this farm.

6) We'd spend to the tune of $200 000 on the farm, which we ain't getting back. To give you an idea of the magnitude of this amount. Until my salary went into said farm, my monthly salary, which put me in the upper-middle income class, was about $1500 per month.

7) Then... the shoe biz, the source of hope we all so desperately needed, went pear shaped due to actions taken by others. Actions completely beyond our control.

You know about breaking points? 

On Tuesday, 4 November, I'd officially reached mine.

The result was that I... well... I lost it completely. I had some seriously strong words with God. Testimony one: That He didn't strike me down for at least a quarter of what I'd said, is more than proof enough that yes, He does love us as much as He says.

Anyway. So I get into the car and me, my mother and four of our employees go to Cape Town to unpack and count 5000 pairs of shoes.

God has sort of fallen silent as I left the room. (Yep, ours is very much a two-way conversation. No, that's not at all an insane thing to say.) Then suddenly out of the blue, He says:

"Friday."
Me: "What happens on Friday?"

Silence. With me sort of growing carefully optimistic that maybe something'll get sorted for us before the weekend came. But even so, I had some niggling suspicions. Why now? After a whole freaking sucking year. Why now?

After dinner, we spoke and I sorta carefully ventured what I'd heard, then found that both my brother and uncle had gotten the same message. And my grandmother, that something would turnaround soon, but without a specific deadline.

Despite this, by Tuesday evening, I was doubting again. Not proud to say it. But there you go.

I didn't doubt that something would happen on Friday. I just didn't really think that any of it would really have a bearing on actually helping us get out of all this... well... crap.

So... yeah...

Night terrors. Waking often. Sorta, half lucid, half delirious praying... Yeah. I sometimes do that, if I drift off while praying.

Problem with this is that with sleep comes lowered inhibitions.

As such, I suspect (no way that I'll ever really know) that I said something like: "It's like You're not here anymore."

Because honestly, it's something that's been in my thoughts for some time, but that I haven't actually been brave enough to actually put into words.

Nope. That isn't when God turned His back on me forever.

That had to be the moment when He quite audibly said: "I'm here."

And just in case I didn't buy it this time: 


HE
TURNED
ON
THE
LIGHTS


Which, needless to say, more than got my attention. But of course, I didn't think it was Him, because why would He? 

Except, the more you guys commented and I thought and prayed about it, the more certain I became. And you know what? There's a reason why He'd do something as outrageous as defy the laws of physics and make lights burn without being "switched on." He loves me. And He didn't want me to worry for a second more that we were alone in all this. 

So what made me post this today? Well... It's Friday, see. And I realized that I have an amazing Holy Father, who I don't always understand, but whose love for me and everyone else defies understanding. 

Because starting at around noon today, EVERYTHING turned around and although we aren't getting the farm, we've been given a chance to move on. Which, given that I can only assume it's what God wants, is probably going to be only a million times or so better than anything I can come up with. 

So today, this seventh day of November, 2014, I proclaim in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, that this year has officially been turned around thanks to His profound love and mercy. 



You might wonder why I'm sharing all this? The answer is simple: I know that 2014 is a rough year for MANY of us, and it's my hope that this post will bring you to a place of peace, comfort and blessings as well. And a place of knowing that, no matter what, God does love us, and He always will. Even when we say stupid stuff in our sleep. 

Thanks to those of you who read this! 

I'm feeling the need to pray for some of you, so if you have any needs that you think needs some prayers, please feel free to let me know in the comments. Or mail me at mishagericke(AT)gmail(dot)com

17 comments:

Julia Hones said...

Dear Misha,
Sometimes all we can do is move forward with hope and with the peace of mind that we have tried our best because there is so much that is out of our control...
I wish you and your family love and peace in your journey.

Terry W. Ervin II said...

Life is full of struggles and so often we desire to take full control ourselves when really there is only one who can do all things and see ahead for what we really need. Yes, He does love and watch over us all. Needless to say, I am very happy for you.

For prayer, you stopped over at my blog a short while back, where I posted about my friend serving the Lord in Liberia. A prayer for him and for all those who live in the region, facing so many struggles, with Ebola now added to the mix.

Paul Anthony Shortt said...

Wow, I'm sorry I missed your post about the lights before.

I feel like I needed to see this today. It's 8:30am on Saturday, it's raining, I'm sitting in work with my team, doing overtime. 2014 has utterly hammered my wife and I from start to finish. I don't know if I can go into everything publicly yet, but we've lost a good friend to cancer, been forced onto a single income, and I'm staring at a major low-point in my very young writing career.

I'm still hoping to see the lights turned on.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks so much, Julia.

Misha Gericke said...

Father God, I want to ask that you keep your hand over Terry's friend and other people serving You in Western Africa. I pray that You bless their work and that You give them the strength to keep going even when it's incredibly hard to do so.

I pray this in Jesus's name.

Amen.

Misha Gericke said...

Lord,

As I read this comment, I can see how Paul has suffered through this year.

I pray that You provide them comfort in this trying time and that You give them the wisdom they need as to how to move forward.

I also pray that You bless the Shortts. I pray that You'll bless Paul's writing.

Lastly, I pray that You give them strength to keep standing, even if the pressure grows.

Fill them with Your love, Lord. Surround them with it.

I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Paul Anthony Shortt said...

Thank you. *hugs*

Misha Gericke said...

You're welcome. *hugs*

Karen Walker said...

Misha, I am so happy your Lord turned things around for you. This is a powerful and inspiring post--an important reminder that we are not alone here. Thank you.

Susanne Drazic said...

Misha, you and your family are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing these past couple of posts. They have been quite inspirational. God is always with us.

Catherine Stine said...

Wow, powerful post! Sending you love and light, as the Quakers say.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks Karen. :-)

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks Susanne! Yes He is.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks!

Loni Townsend said...

God is good, yes?

Misha Gericke said...

Yes He is!

Rachel said...

This post is beautiful, and such a powerful testimony of what can happen when we have reached our human limits.