Before I start, I just want to let you know that I'm at Tyrean's for an one-word interview. Also, I'm visiting Alex to share a Nordian joke.
And now, to the point. You know... This month started off on a high. The Vanished Knight got published, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's doing pretty good for a debut.
But other than that, I can safely say the wheels have come off. See, the drafting in my down-time went to hell when my publisher let me know that hey, edits are done and I'd be published a week later. (Not really anyone's fault, and honestly, it turned out well, so I don't mind.)
What I do mind is that I'm simply not in a head space to write. Tried to kick-start it by writing 31k by the end of the month. I managed 10k. 8k of which were guest posts.
Then there were family trips, work issues (which I will continue to refuse to dignify with expansion on the internet) and this week, food poisoning. In fact, I'm only starting to feel human again now.
Except I'm feeling a lot like an injured one. Because today, one of my family's cats died. Just so you know, it wasn't one of the kittens. It was an older cat. Eight years old, but utterly devoted to my brother. His loss has been closely felt in my family. And I'm crying as I write this. Honestly, he was too young to die, and his illness was way too sudden. It took him in one week. We don't know why, but maybe we'll have some answers when the necropsy comes back. I'm just praying now that this isn't something contagious.
So yeah. I'm currently physically and emotionally tired. And I really need a rest. Blog hiatus is out of the question, though. And I'm NOT going to miss NaNo.
I will, however re-evaluate in this week before NaNo starts. I'm not sure if I want to work on any important drafts right now. Right now, I don't think I need to feel like writing is work. So I'll need to figure out a way to get me writing in a way that'll get me back on capacity. Without pushing me over the edge.
Where are you writing-wise?
EDIT: The necropsy came back. Seems the cat's cause of death was congenital. He had smaller than average kidneys and liver, and the longest small intestine either of the animal hospital's vets have ever seen. Looks like Sylvester had been suffering for some time without us knowing, and it was just a matter of time before his systems shut down.
We did see him before he died, and it seems as if he'd waited the whole day for us to visit. Because the vet found he'd died within an hour after that. Already missing him like hell.
Misha, I'm sorry about the cat! Hate it when pets die. They are family.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not into writing this very moment, don't stress.
And happy to host you today - you were indeed very humorous!
Yeah they're part of who we are.
DeleteThanks for hosting me. :-)
I'm sorry about your cat and good luck with your goals. I always find it hard to write around a release, usually for that whole month.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yeah the release definitely made it harder for me to focus.
DeleteI'm so sorry about the cat! Eight is way too young. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm in writing limbo. I finished my WIP of 2+ years a few weeks ago and I'm waiting for NaNo to start. So not so much writing, but lots of thinking.
Yeah... but after I heard what the vet said caused his death, I think it might have been for the better, since he must have lived in pain.
DeleteWriting limbo can sometimes be a good place to be. Good luck with NaNo!
So sorry Misha. Feeling physically ill is bad enough, but then to loose the cat and have to worry why. So sad. I do hope the results are not another issue. I read your post at Alex's blog and it made me smile. If only I could make you smile.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your writing... how about writing a few FF or poems. Or click a prompt generator and see what happens. Just for you, just for fun. Be daft and silly and break the rules. OR tell yourself: Write the worst 500 word story ever. You never know what might spring from the well :)
Hugs. X
http://shahwharton.com/
Thanks Shah, and yet I know my issues are nowhere close to what you're living through ever day.
DeleteYour writing suggestion is definitely something I have in mind. Just messing around for fun until the focus comes back. :-)
Sorry about the cat, I love aniamls and we do tend to treat them as family. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Thanks Yvonne. We also treat our pets like family. Of us all, my brother's the hardest hit.
DeleteOh no, Misha, I'm so sorry! That sounds like a pretty awful week. The best advice I can offer is something I re-learned this week, and have to remind myself of all the time: we all need time and space to refuel. It's OK to take that time and space (even if it has to be limited), and when you're done, your writing is better and easier and fun again.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Liz. I think I need to let the pressure off for a few days.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about your cat. :( Like Liz stated, sometimes it's okay to put aside time for yourself. With that aside, good luck with your writing and goals!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brittney.Yeah I'm definitely going to just chill for a few days, and not worry. In the long run, it'll be better.
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss and, hopefully, it's not catching. When I lost my 15-year-old cat it hit me pretty hard. Life can be rough sometimes when multiple tragedies hit at once, but I know you'll make it through stronger. Congrats on your guest post.
ReplyDeleteThanks Maurice. I'm really sad about the cat dying, but I'm sort of happy for him too. Couldn't have been nice to spend his life perpetually starving no matter how much he ate.
DeleteMisha, I am so sorry about the cat. I am also in a writing limbo. Just procrastinating like mad.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachna. Sometimes it's good to let ourselves off the hook a bit.
DeleteHere for Alex's place.
ReplyDeleteI would say you have the baby put to bed, rest a while. Creativity will find you.
Thanks for stopping by, Gail. :-)
DeleteI agree with you that rest will be the best thing for now.
Loved your post at Alex's and your one-word interview at Tyrean's. I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. I am a animal lover who's pets have been members of the family, so I totally understand.
ReplyDeleteI wish you support and warm wishes -- for the book, the post-sickies, and for the loss of your cat.
And don't beat yourself up over your writing or over any arbitrary deadlines you put on yourself. Maybe because you've achieved a major milestone, you feel like you have reached a new plateau as a writer and you feel like now your writing has to be perfect and magical and uber-awesome and it's stifling your output? Allow yourself to write pure crap and don't worry about it -- Stink up page after page with wretched, pathetic, and vile scribblings.
Afterwards, you'll find that without any pressure, you'll actually squeeze out some nuggets of gold in there, simply because you have talent. ;^)
Thanks Chris.
DeleteYou're right about me putting extra pressure on myself after publishing. I definitely am, although I'm pushing for word counts rather than particular quality, since I know first drafts suck.
So sorry to hear about your cat.
ReplyDeleteI've already popped over to Tyrean's blog. Give yourself time to breathe before beating yourself up over not writing - it's not possible to write all the time!
Thanks Annalisa. Definitely will give myself a break for a few days, at least.
DeleteI'm so sorry about your cat, Misha. :(
ReplyDeleteI hope your book debuted well, too!! I saw you and The Vanished Knight all over the blogosphere this month, so your promotion has been great. Congrats!
Happy reading and writing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines
Thanks Laura.
DeleteI think the book's doing pretty well, fluctuating between 100kth and 500kth on the Amazon paid book rankings. Will have to wait for my accounts and pay-out to see how it did, though.
Aww! I'm so, so sorry to hear about Sylvester. It's never easy losing a fur-baby.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes life gets in the way of writing, and that's okay. *hugs*
Yeah they get so deep into our hearts, eh?
DeleteCondolences about the cat, at least he isn't suffering anymore. Hope you get back on track with writing and see you at Nano.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sheena.
DeleteAww, sorry to hear about the cat. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHope all improves soon. Sounds like you're in need of some fun. I need to get myself more deeply into writing mode, too. I ease myself into it using tricks usually.
Hahaha yeah fun is exactly what I'm needing. Mmm....
Delete*hugs*
Such a pretty cat. I know how much it hurts.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with NaNo.
Yeah he was beautiful.
DeleteI'm so sorry about Sylvester. Losing a pet is haaard. I'm glad you're feeling better, and since it sounds like you've been dealt all your bad luck at once, I'm sure this means that you're in for a smashing NaNo!
ReplyDeleteHahaha yeah that's what I'm hoping too. That I've had the down turn and the trip up starts again. :-D
DeleteP.S. Duh --- Congratulations on your book's release!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much!
DeleteOh i'm sorry. you have to take the time off and take care of your injuries.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Am kicking it back at the moment. Spent the afternoon messing around with computer games. :-)
DeleteSo sorry for your loss. You have to make time for yourself so you don't get burned out.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susanne. Yeah I'm slacking down as much as I can at the moment.
DeleteI'm so sorry for about your loss... breaks my heart as I love animals and I'd be the same if something happened to my pets.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself for falling behind on things... sometimes life gets in the way. But your book is published... huge congrats. You'll get back into writing soon enough:)
Thanks! I know if have to cut myself some slack, but it's not as easy as you'd think.
DeleteHi Misha. I'm so sad to read about the loss of your cat.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the release of The Vanished Knight! That's exciting.
To answer your question: I think you are right. It is important to have goals. I have too many writing goals, so I think I have to focus on one or two things at this time.
I have been writing poetry lately, but I'd like to complete a couple of short stories that I started recently. To make matters worse, I now have an idea for a novel and it won't leave me in peace until I sit to write it. I am just starting to work on the research for this novel.
Stay well.
Thanks Julie.
DeleteHehehe you sound like me. I have way too many projects and too little time. :-)
Gosh, I'm so sorry. I hope you get feeling better soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your loss.
ReplyDeleteMy writing is stalled. Too much time working on the house, or around the farm. Thank goodness the day job is only three days a week!
Sorry you lost your friend, Misha -- I was thinking of one of my pets just yesterday. She was the best. They're never really gone. Enjoyed your guest post and interview!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on The Vanished Knight! And I'm sorry about the cat. Pets truly do become part of the family, and I always think of them as people.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. You have had it rough!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the cat. Losing a pet is always tough. :(
Congrats on your book, though. At least that's going well.