I've decided to call Wo6C3 done for now.
On making this decision, I'd thought that I'd just launch into another of my many active projects to get that done too. The thing is, I really just don't feel like it at the moment.
I'm guessing it's a combination of my work hours and my life once again taking a turn towards chaos, but right now, the urge to write just isn't there.
For a moment, I thought I'd go into a blind screaming panic, but then put some thought into it.
Sure, I have a ton of stuff I want to do, but my main goals for this year are currently out of my hands (while I wait for cover designers, betas, editors etc. to get back to me.) So it's not like I can do anything else.
And honestly I'm just not in the mood to burn myself out. For some reason, I thought that last year, which was awesome, would go into an awesome 2014 if I just kept grafting away on the same momentum.
You know what happens when an "unstoppable" ball hits an immovable wall?
BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
So yes, to say the least, I have not enjoyed 2014. I've kept hoping that things would turn around, but shoe biz (which is still awesome) aside, there has been about ten months of near continual suckage for me to deal with.
Almost everything that made 2013 a great year has been either ruined or destroyed.
What's left is now quivering as the last three months of the year rolls towards it. There are two exceptions: The first is that my awesome family is largely intact and I'm praying that this continues. The second is that my love for writing gave me an escape whenever I needed it.
However, if I force myself to write, writing is no longer an escape. It becomes a responsibility. Right now, I just can't deal with that. So I'm just... not going to.
What I am doing is to critique some awesome books, and to read other awesome books. And then if I feel like writing, I'm going to write.
Yes, I know I have goals. I have everything planned out in a timeline. But right now, I'm not going to worry about how to get everything done on time. Next year can seriously take care of itself, but for now, I have to do everything I can to get through 2014 in one piece.
Honestly, now is a really good time for a turnaround. That's the hope I'm holding on to now. It would just be beyond wonderful if everything could get sorted out just in time for 2015 to start on good note.
How are you doing?
I think you're making a good decision. I'll be praying that things get better and you'll able to continue to take joy in your family, etc.
ReplyDeleteI really hope 2014 picks up for you, regardless of the fact that there are only two and a half months left. You made lots of progress with your manuscript and you shouldn't lose hope. Though I understand what you mean by 2014 not being a great year.
ReplyDeleteWishing that things improve for you. Have a great week.
Good call, Misha. Schedules and deadlines can motivate and organize us to achieve things, but they can also dominate and rule us if they get out of hand. The trick is to know when to stick with a plan, and when to revise it in the interests of sanity.
ReplyDeleteIt takes courage to even accept that this is what you need to do right now. I think its the smart thing to do, the last thing we want is a burnt out Misha. And you've accomplished great goals even with sucky 2014. On that note: We'll make 2015 rock the world, right? Right! Hugs :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that 2014 has been difficult for you; I hope things get better really soon. It sounds like you need a break; even a workaholic like me recognizes the importance of a good break. It gives you time to rest and recharge, so that you can go back to work feeling refreshed. (I think I read that somewhere, but I can't remember.)
ReplyDeleteBut burning out is so fun.
ReplyDeleteLOL. You definitely have to take things at your own pace. Even in traditional publishing I see books that I think, "That author was rushed to publication." It makes me sad when I know their potential and if they'd just had the clarity to stand back and take some time they'd have seen how not ready the work was. Anyhow, time and distance are a good thing. Enjoy some time "off."
You've had a roller coaster of a ride year. And with the hours you work, I'd be too exhausted to even eat. Don't lose the joy of writing by forcing.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think I go so long in between projects?
I hope the rest of this year and next year gets better for you. I know what it's like to have writing become a responsibility instead of an escape. Just take care of yourself however you can. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteIt's been one of those years for me too. I'm ready for a great 2015. I'm busy with a lot of revising, and I really just want to get to writing again.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just need to recharge and renew yourself. I hope you find some relaxation and good times.
ReplyDeleteSome years are just hard. That's the nicest thing I can say about it. Sometimes there's a string of 12 months where all hell breaks loose. I've lived through some bad ones, and I hope yours turns around. And I'm sure it will, because you are resilient. Good luck, and take the time you need so your writing doesn't start to feel like a chore. It'll come back.
ReplyDeleteSorry things haven't been going well for you. Under the circumstances I think you're right to take a break from writing. Deciding to do that isn't the same as failing or not meeting goals - it's you taking charge of something that's under your control and choosing where to focus your time and energy.
ReplyDeleteMisha, hang on there. 2015 will be a rocking year for us. You have had a tough ride but I know you won't give up. You will emerge stronger and things will get better.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you here. Let's hang on together. This has been a rough year for many it seems.
ReplyDeleteBalancing work and writing is really tough at times. I am teaching too many classes right now to be able to write as much as I'd like! I'm headed to a weekend writing retreat soon and I hope that will spring me back into my WIP. Then I'll do Nano. I don't expect to get to 50K, but it will hopefully keep the momentum up.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any other creative talents you like to explore? Drawing? Designing? Sometimes diverting your attention to bookish things that aren't writing helps keep the passion alive. Kind of like going on a date with your book to do some fancy stuff you wouldn't normally get to do. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's been a rough year but I think you're making a good decision. Take a break if that would help. Hang in there. It should work out all right in the end.
ReplyDeleteMisha, I'm sorry that this has been a difficult year for you. I'm sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Stepping back a little might be what you need to get back to wanting to write. Best wishes for continued success with your shoe business.
ReplyDeleteHi Misha.
ReplyDeleteSometimes its good to recharge and refill the creative well.
Goals have to be flexible. Make the adjustments you need to for yourself and just take it from there.
ReplyDeleteThanks all so much for your supportive and encouraging comments! I really needed it. :-)
ReplyDelete