Tomorrow is the three month anniversary of my publishing deal.
Time's rushed by at such speed that I'm a little dizzy.
Sometimes, it scares me. Every passing day brings me that much closer to publishing my book. To having my work pried from my nervous fingers and thrown open for the world to see.
I'm so terrified that it'll fail to gain an audience. After so much time spent just to get Doorways to a state worth publishing, it might just break my heart to see it flounder in the market.
Here, I know some of you are rolling your eyes. First books are stepping stones to the next ones. I've heard it before.
But the fact is that other books exist in my mind under Doorways. As in Doorways covers most of my creative thought. It's done so for over half a decade. The world, the history, the characters, everything exists there as if completely real. The other stories... well, they're real too, but only for a few weeks at a time before the beast that's the Doorways series drowns out all other voices once more.
So no. To me, it's my first book, but it'll never be a stepping stone. Except to launch me and my readers (one or one million of them) into the rest of the story.
And damn it, I still have a lot of this story to get out there. I don't want it to run out of steam after two books.
That terrifies me even more than just the first book failing. Because without telling the whole story, working so hard on the first quarter of it feels absolutely useless.
Needless to say, the speed of time running by is making me very nervous.
I know this has to be done, though. It's one of the things I'm made to do. Create stories and have others read them. For that to happen, I have to close my eyes and let my fears go.
Anyone about to be published feel the same way? For you published authors, how did you feel right before publishing?