Tomorrow is the three month anniversary of my publishing deal.
Time's rushed by at such speed that I'm a little dizzy.
Sometimes, it scares me. Every passing day brings me that much closer to publishing my book. To having my work pried from my nervous fingers and thrown open for the world to see.
I'm so terrified that it'll fail to gain an audience. After so much time spent just to get Doorways to a state worth publishing, it might just break my heart to see it flounder in the market.
Here, I know some of you are rolling your eyes. First books are stepping stones to the next ones. I've heard it before.
But the fact is that other books exist in my mind under Doorways. As in Doorways covers most of my creative thought. It's done so for over half a decade. The world, the history, the characters, everything exists there as if completely real. The other stories... well, they're real too, but only for a few weeks at a time before the beast that's the Doorways series drowns out all other voices once more.
So no. To me, it's my first book, but it'll never be a stepping stone. Except to launch me and my readers (one or one million of them) into the rest of the story.
And damn it, I still have a lot of this story to get out there. I don't want it to run out of steam after two books.
That terrifies me even more than just the first book failing. Because without telling the whole story, working so hard on the first quarter of it feels absolutely useless.
Needless to say, the speed of time running by is making me very nervous.
I know this has to be done, though. It's one of the things I'm made to do. Create stories and have others read them. For that to happen, I have to close my eyes and let my fears go.
Anyone about to be published feel the same way? For you published authors, how did you feel right before publishing?
You can't control how people react to it - just write the best story you can. Even if it doesn't take off right away, it still might later. (Trust me on that one.)
ReplyDeleteI made it through three books. You'll be able to finish yours!
I agree with Alex, write the best story you can. Don't worry about the readers.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great, Misha.... Just relax, breathe, and keep on writing the way ONLY you can write. Your readers will fall in love with your characters and begin the bonding of a wonderful new relationship.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel - the first in my new series is set to be published in September, and it's currently in the hands of editors- yeek! Like your series, this one's dominated my writing for years and is the idea I'm most proud of, so it'll be utterly crushing if readers don't like it or if no one buys it. But I know that it's not under my control, and all I can do is write the next book and try not to think about the 'real-world' response!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck! :)
Deep breath! You can't control what readers think of your work, and that is scary. I still worry what people will think. If they'll like it. But remember, the people who don't, they're not your audience anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteTry not to think about floundering before it's even released. Focus on making the best book possible... and after that you can think about the marketing. Just do your best at each stage :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm nervous before a book is out there but then I relax a little once I've got a copy in my hands. The thing is real then and it's too late to change it so I just concentrate on the next one.
ReplyDeleteThat's the theory anyway!
Remember, 95% of what you worry about will never happen. So don't worry!
ReplyDeleteI'm not self-publishing until December and your post is making me a bit nervous. But not about running out of stories. I have way too many unfinished ones in my room and more developing inside my head. But just keep going, you're getting published and that's a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me going on the subject of time. I swear the older we get the faster the stupid clock moves. Last year - after I'd received offers from small publishers for my YA manuscript - I thought my lane had finally sped up. Then and because of those offers, I sign with my now agent and we decide to tweak the manuscript and shoot for the big publishers. Again, I thought my lane had finally sped up. That was last September. Life got in the way-blah, blah, blah. I finally went on sub about a month ago, and for a third time I thought my lane was finally moving faster. Multiple lg pubs have the manuscript now and this waiting is just killing me. It feels like every day is only a few hours long and one day leads into the next and so on. I've finally started focusing on writing the sequel.
ReplyDeleteAnd just for the record: I think you're doing awesome!
I bet it is very scary to put your baby out there and wonder how it will be received. I think your feelings must be very natural. I go through a little bit of that every time I have an article published. You hope people will get out of it what you intended.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you!
Don't worry. Do the best you can.
ReplyDeleteHugs and chocolate,
Shelly
I felt this same way before my book came out and really still struggle with it. You're definitely not alone! But I agree with everyone else, all you can do is focus on making the best book you can. And I have no doubt that Doorways will be awesome!
ReplyDeleteHey Misha,
ReplyDeleteHappy and calming thoughts to you on your three month anniversary of your publishing deal. Just breathe, be gentle and visualise the positive outcome you crave. Believe in your heart and the passion of your writing.
A peaceful weekend to you.
Gary :)
When you're passionate about what you've written, readers will be passionate about it, too. Have confidence in this and all will be well. :)
ReplyDelete