Saturday, June 25, 2016

A Belated Update Day

So after all this time, I finally managed to be way late for my own bloghop. It’s been a long week and I got home so late that I just couldn’t focus. I decided to sit back and sort through my goals for July in the morning (because I didn’t have time to do it all week).

And when I finally managed to sit down and put this post together, I realized that I’ve got to be realistic and completely change the way I’m approaching my goals.

Why?

Let me show you…



Writing Goals:

1) 60 000 words written, 60 hours of edits or some combination of those.
The equivalent of 23k words.

2) Find and submit to Critique Partners for Wo6C3
Sent to one CP and in short, Wo6C3 needs only a ton more work before I can send it out to more.

3) Critique works by critique partners.
I’m waiting for my CP’s work.

4) Edit ES1
Didn’t look at it.

5) Prep rewrite for BvB2.
I managed to think of this a few times before I had to do something else.

6) Complete revisions to O1
I revised two chapters.

7) Add 10000 words to StW1
Added almost 8k words.
8) Work on CdW concept
Nope.

9) Start Sci Fi Project. (Still thinking about an suitable acronym.)
Nope and Nope.

10) Work on concept for a new story that came to me while I rested.
A little bit of this done, but not much in the way of a concrete start.

11) Edit my Untethered Realms anthology story.
Done. Yay. I managed one thing.

Reading:

Read 6 books.
I read 4.

Read some chapters of Les Trois Mousquetaires.
Nope.

Networking and Marketing:

Rethink Social Network Strategy
This I did and it’s huge. So much so that it’s taking a chunk of my writing time to implement.

Regular updates to at least some of the social networks.
This I was spotty on because I’m basically rebuiling my entire social network from scratch in some places.

Confirm new covers for Wo6C series.
Done.


Life:

Maintain balance between life, writing and work.
Bahahahahahaha *cries*

Go to dancing classes once a week.
Didn’t go because the week before I was to go to my first lesson, I discovered that I’m moving again, so I couldn’t sign the membership contract.

Get into the habit of eating more frequent, smaller meals. (Stress and an ulcer don’t mix, so I have to help where I can.)
This I did and also cut way back on carbs and sugars to help even further.

In short: I managed to do precious little that I set out to do.

There are a variety of reasons for this:

1) I’m having to rebuild my day-job business from scratch yet again. Which means I have to put in more hours.
2) I’m having to restructure my social networking (see here if you’re curious as to why and what I’m doing.)
3) I’m a bit of an emotional mess due to reason number 1
4) While being an emotional mess, I default to working on The War of Six Crowns, which means that I broke my own rule of not working on a sequel before the earlier book is ready for publishing, so that I could work on Book 4 while waiting for CP feed back on Book 3. And now Book 3 needs more work.
5) People, I feel like crying this morning.

In short, it’s taken just about two years of unrelenting pressure, but I’ve buckled under. This month was the most unproductive I’ve ever been and it’s been a downward trend from January.

Yesterday, I spoke to my mother about how I’m feeling right now and… It’s not good. I’m exhausted. Completely and utterly. I’ve expended every ounce of my energy to keep going earlier this year and in return I got my suppliers and clients stolen by someone I trusted and nothing to show for it because all the money I’d earned went into surviving.

So.

The situation is this.

I’m not catching a break.

My hard work does not result in anything. Because in this life, it seems, the only thing that matters is being rich or being lucky. I’m neither.

And yet, I can’t just give up, so I have to keep going.

I have to keep working in the hopes that this time I strike it lucky. And heaven knows I’ll keep writing because the day I stop that I might as well stop living.

But I can’t keep trying to do so much because I have readers waiting for Book 3. I probably have one or two people hoping I get the sequel to Endless out too. Since The War of Six Crowns is my happy place, that’s my priority, but other than that, my only priority right now is to survive rebuilding, moving house, and doing everything else I need to do in order to have a shot at making it as a writer.


Sorry if this is way too much of a downer, but this is where I am right now. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. 

19 comments:

Annalisa Crawford said...

You gave yourself some pretty high goals, so it's not a surprise - and certainly not your fault - that you've buckled slightly. And that's not including all the outside issues, either! I'd struggle with half your workload.

Taking stock every so often and discarding goals/plans that no longer fit is a good way to move forward. Good luck!

ruthlivingstone.net said...

Oh Misha, my heart goes out to you. Moving is stressful and sounds like the rest of life is pretty stressful too. Although you don't feel as if you've accomplished much, you have managed to do a fair amount of writing work, and sounds like you've achieved some fairly intensive social-media-sorting-out work too.
A suggestion for this coming month might be to simply focus on one or two things in your writing life. Maybe one thing that might progress your finances + one thing that will make you happy.
Anyway, sending you hugs and best wishes for your move.

Olga Godim said...

Tomorrow will definitely be a better day, Misha. You've been doing so much for so long, it's amazing you're still moving. We all need a break once in a while.
And in regards to goals, I always thought that goals are something we can control. "Write a chapter of my WIP" I can control. It's something I can do. "Sell 60 copies of my book in two week" is impossible to control from my side. I can try marketing but I can't make anyone buy my book, so it isn't really a realistic goal for me to achieve. It's just a wish I can work towards.
Maybe some people can set such goals and fulfill them too, but I'm not one of them. Maybe you are.

Botanist said...

I learned long ago that goals can motivate us, but they can also become tyrants that take over and rule us. That is a hard realization to come to. I hope tomorrow will be a better day and that you find the right balance in your life.

Launna said...

Misha, you need to be honest, this way you can change things...I think you need to make manageable goals along with one or two large ones xox ♡♡♡

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Do you utilize Instagram for social networking as well? I think it's the wave of the future.

Patricia Lynne said...

Sounds like life! Definitely have been there in my own way. It resulted in about two months of zero writing because I was so down and stressed that my muse shut up. But that low didn't last. It only felt like it. I hope your low passes soon and stress leaves you alone and things turn around. *hugs*

Denise Covey said...

Hi Misha! I think i said in my post that we have to live our life, that comes first. If we don't meet our often unrealistic goals, we shouldn't beat ourselves up! You've still achieved lots! :-)

Mark Noce said...

It's a big list, but it's important to have big goals and challenges. Like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger:)

Mori Lii said...

You have a very big list of goals. Try not to overwhelm yourself too much, to the point where it becomes stressful. Either way, good luck with all of your goals! I'm sure you'll be able to get through them. :)

I do like how you have shown your goals and what has been accomplished. I feel that I should be more organized when it comes to my blog post about my monthly goals, lol.

Shell Flower said...

You are still rocking some writing, which is a lot more than I have done in MONTHS just because I moved once. With job stress, a big move planned, and the physical issues you are experiencing, I think you are handling everything really well. Don't be too hard on yourself and do what you gotta do to make sure your basic needs are met first. The writing will follow. I think 2016 is just an ass-kicker, too.

Christine Rains said...

You always amaze me with your immense goals, and even on these rough months, you do so much. You are awesome. Don't forget that.

Crystal Collier said...

Okay, first of all, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID DO. Right? You had a crazy, life-altering trauma and STILL accomplished quite a bit. Now here's your badge. Secondly, look up, eh? The sky is blue. The pressure is crushing down at the moment, but the sun is still shining. Keep your eyes up and eventually everything else will follow. You've got this, woman. You are tougher than your circumstances and you are succeeding on so many fronts.

Stephanie Leland said...

So sorry you were hit with so much bad all at once. You've still managed to accomplish a lot, though. A revamp is a good way to pull you out of a slump, and now that you know what you need to do, I'm sure July will be a much more productive month for you. Good luck!

www.smpace.com/blog

J Lenni Dorner said...

Better late than never! 23k words is nothing to sneeze at, and 8k is great too! Yay for the 1 thing totally done. And 4 books is some good reading. Social networking is a bear-- but worth it! Here's a {{{hug}}} from me to you to help with the tears. I hope the move works out and things start getting better. I believe in you!

Mark Murata said...

Dancing classes? What else do you do in your spare time?

Trisha F said...

You did way more than me ;) Take comfort in that!

Nilanjana Bose said...

Hello,

Sorry to hear that things have been so tough - moving houses is so not my favourite things to do. That you managed to write amidst all this is amazing. Wishing you stress-free soon and on top of your writing, and other, goals.

Tyrean Martinson said...

I'm always just amazed by your hard work, determination, and amazing talent, Misha!
I'm glad you had a moment to vent to someone, and I hope that this year gets better and better!