I Hate My Internal Editor Because It's Right

Hey everyone! Before I get to today's vlog post, I just wanted to let you know that I signed up for a charity auction for the victims of Hurricane Harvey. I'm offering to format a book for paperback and ebook, so if that's something you need, you might end you getting my services for a steal. You can click here for more information.

Okay! Time for today's vlog. As always, I left the script at the bottom for those of you who just can't get into the vlog thing. Enjoy!



If I was to think of one word to summarize how I am right now, it would be:

FRUSTRATED.

Why?

Because I have this brain that tells me things like “Hah. You really want to just edit and publish this shit?”

Sarcastic voice and all.

Which I tend to ignore because often, that voice is dead wrong. However, out of two books I’ve wanted to pick up for revision, this voice chimed in twice. And it was right… twice.

Not that this is really a bad thing. I’m taking a long-term view of self-publishing. Yes, I could be publishing once every three months right now, but would I be happy with the quality of my books? Eh…no.

Which isn’t to bash people who are able to do that.

I just can’t.

It’s hard enough to let go of a book as it is. Let’s not rush the process.

But the thing is, my method has always worked as follows: Rough draft by hand, rewrite to computer (with a plan), revise, edit a million times, proofread a few times more, and then I’m ready for formatting.

Except now it’s not working that way. Because now, when my inner editor takes a look at my rewritten draft, it’s seeing glaring weaknesses that would be better solved with yet another rewrite than with revisions.

The previous three times this inner editor chimed up, I could say, “Hey chill out. Yes, it’s not perfect. But a scene here and there would be all this needs to be perfect.”

The last two times, though, my inner editor helpfully pointed out that somewhere between a half and three quarters of my plot wasn’t written.

And that’s a rewrite-scope problem. How do I know? Because the first time it happened, it took me almost a years’ worth of rewrites and FOUR TIMES the amount of words to tell the story in the right way.

But at least there I had the excuse of wanting to split a book in two.

This time, no such luck. This time, I just let major plot points occur way before intro and build-up was done. And so it feels like at least the first third of a story is missing.
Can I fix it by inserting those scenes? Not this time. Because stuff that’s missing now will impact reactions later.

So it’s another rewrite for me. On a book that’s been rewritten four times already, over sixteen years.

Kill me now.

Have you ever prepared to edit, only to realize the underlying draft isn’t worth editing? Did you ignore that feeling or did you rewrite? How did it work out for you? 

Update Day: February Edition

Sigh. I really hate being late for my own bloghop, but technical difficulties made it impossible for me to post yesterday.

But here I am.

I decided to do a vlog post for the update. So I hope you enjoy it. :-)

For those of you who would like more information on the Got Goals? Bloghop and to sign up, please click here.

How did your February go? What are your plans for March?

Insecure Writer's Support Group: It's Never as Good as You Remember

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. The brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh, IWSG is a monthly bloghop where writers can share their doubts, fears and insecurities. In supporting each other, we can then see that we're really not alone. 

You're welcome to join. All you have to do is click here for more info and to sign up.

If you'd like to rather read this post on Wordpress, please click here. 

As I've been mentioning lately, I'm busy updating (and in a lot of ways, upgrading) my first two books in The War of Six Crowns. Since I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I couldn't leave things at changing the covers and fonts. Oh no, I decided to give the books another proofreading pass. 

After all, it's a well-known fact that mistakes slip through the finest of nets. So it couldn't hurt, right? 

Well. 

I finished reading through The Vanished Knight yesterday with a growing sense of insecurity. Not because it was bad, but because it was good. The characters' voices sing in this story. There's a sort of poetry to the way it's written. 

It's just... amazing. 

Almost to the point where it's shocking to think that I wrote it. 

And Book 3... just isn't on that level. 

And that got me down. 

But then I gave myself a mental slap. 

See, I first published The Vanished Knight in 2013. And before that, I spent two years struggling to get through writing it and the sequel. In fact, it was such a pain in my ass that I almost quit writing altogether. Gasp! I know it's hard to think that I'd seriously contemplate quitting. 

But The Vanished Knight and The Heir's Choice were so hard to write that it damn near convinced me I couldn't write for shit. 

Fortunately, I had a lot of awesome blogging buddies (including you guys in the IWSG) who could talk me down, and I didn't give up. 

After that, The Vanished Knight alone when through over 30 (count them. THIRTY) revision and editing rounds to get it into the shape it's in now. 

And I guess I forgot about all that because one doesn't remember pain. 

But the history is there. 

The struggle was there. 

And expecting myself to draft out the sequel to the books that almost made me quit while expecting it to look like The Vanished Knight looks now is lunacy. 

So this is a reminder.

Don't ever compare your drafts to books that have been published. (Be they your own or someone else's.) 

Those books look so good because of a huge amount of work that went into polishing them. Work that you still need to do, but that you can't do if you're crippled by the idea that you're a bad writer. 

So. 

Stop moping because a book is soooooo much better than yours, and just write yours. Who knows? The book you're working on right now might just be good enough to send someone else moping later. 

Do you get down when comparing the quality of your writing to published works? 

Before you go, the Mni Wiconi Bloghop in support of Standing Rock has been extended to 7 January, if you'd still like to sign up. There are prizes to be won too, so check it out. :-)

On Word Targets

It's the strangest thing how psychological this writing game is. 

People (and by this, I mean non-writers) always assume that writing is such an easy thing. After all, they write hundreds of words every day with e-mails and texts, right? 

Sure. The thing is... It's easy to just jot a few words with no particular word-count goal in mind. Ten words here. Twenty words there. 

Easy. 

But get told to write a 1500 word article. Or a 3000 word to 6000 word short story. Or just think and realize that the novel you're working on needs 150,000 words to get finished. 

Suddenly, a task that seems simple becomes much more complicated. Especially when you're starting out and wondering if the thing you're writing will actually hit the word-count target. 

Last night, I wrote an article, and about 700 words in, I couldn't imagine where I would find the remaining 800. 

When I started drafting my story for the Insecure Writer's Support Group competition, I liked the idea, but I just felt like the word-limit was this insurmountable mountain to climb. 

Odd to think it, but I find the 150k goal less intimidating, because if I come in under that, it's not like there will be repercussions. And that is actually the reason why I don't like setting a target for the length of any story I write. It just adds extra pressure I don't like feeling. I mean, I already give myself some steep deadlines to chase. 

The challenge is good for me, though. It's nice to know that, yes, I could actually write to demand and actually hit those targets. 

And you know the funny thing about my short story? I'm at 3500 words now, and wondering if I'll be able to wrap the story up in 1500 words or less. 

So that just goes to show you the importance of just writing. Even if we feel like we'll never make a word-count target, we can always surprise ourselves if we try. 

Are you writing a story for IWSG competition? How's it going?

Changing Things...

As you ladies and gents might or might not have picked up, I've been struggling to write. With my life as it is, I just found it difficult to almost impossible to sit down and focus on what should be going into my stories.

I have to say that I'm relieved to say that this is changing. Not my life. That's pretty much stuck in hurry-up-and-wait mode until next month at least. However, changing my perspective into being more proactive about my writing career has made a huge difference to my ability to write.

More than that, it's changing the way I look at a lot of things. Yes, my priorities still largely focus on getting the next book finished. But at the same time, I'm having to do things right now that will bring in enough money for me to publish in the future.

Which means I'm doing a lot of different things. Trying new things. This includes, you know, being more active on social networks. And setting up a Wordpress version of this blog. Right now, I don't think I'll leave Blogger entirely to go over to Wordpress, but a lot of my Wordpress blogging friends kept saying that blogger swallows their comments and I just can't have that.

It means changing the way I've been approaching my writing sessions. Usually, I basically sit down and write until a scene is finished. The problems to this method have been twofold.

First: I haven't been in the right headspace to sit down for two to three hours on end. So I've been waiting for that to right itself because I wanted to sit for two or three hours to churn out a chapter.

Second: My scenes have become longer than anticipated. See, with The Vanished Knight and The Heir's Choice I had a lot of 2k long scenes that I ended up combining in order to create longer chapters. I think my longest chapter is 7k long, but the average is about 4k. Book 3 is different. Maybe it's because my point-of-view characters are simply closer together so I don't have to jump between them as much, but at the moment, the average chapter is about 5k long. So now it's not a matter of writing for two hours and having a finished scene. Actually having a finished planned section would probably take me an entire working day.

Which I don't have available. Oh, you thought "being a full-time writer" meant having more time to write? Nope. Not yet, anyway.

So lately, I've decided to follow Cherie Reich's example and setting a time goal for my writing. Instead of setting a word count goal, she decides how much time she wants to devote to writing and then she sets a timer, which she races to write as much as she can.

I've adapted her method a little. She did away with her word-count goals. I can't. I want to finish Book 3 this year. Which means I have to write between 1 and 2 thousand words every day. I have found, though, that timing myself means that I take about 90 minutes to write 1800 words. (So far, I break my writing into 5 and 10 minute sessions which I add up later.)

In other words, timing myself is speeding me up, which is good, because I don't have enough hours in a day.

How are you doing? Have you tried timing your writing sessions? 

Just keep going

I've been griping a lot about my currently available amount of time lately. (Ask anyone who's volunteered to host me for my blog tour.)

And just to make sure that everyone understands what I'm talking about:

Since the beginning of January, I have been working full days and then some, and then spent the remainder in a place with no Internet. Which means that my usual schedule of doing my work and finishing and then going over into writing has pretty much fallen by the way-side.

I'm hoping that this will change in the near future as we fall into more of a routine. (And we no longer have to rent a place with no internet reception.) But in the meantime, I think my expected writing time has been reduced by two thirds.

No, I'm not kidding.

BUT!

I'm still getting stuff done. A lot of stuff. Two weeks into February and I've written and/or edited the equivalent of almost 40k words. I probably would have been there already but for a work function that kept me up until midnight on Thursday, but anyway.

I think this rate of output, given the amount of time I've had available, is impressive enough for me to sound like I know where I'm coming from.

Because I bet there are quite a few of you who are thinking: How in the heck is she managing that?!

My answer comes down to something like this.

Just keep writing.

I mean, I could have been going into a blind panic about my entire schedule changing, but instead, I wrote. I could have complained about my lack of internet at night.

I wrote instead.

I could have worried about the fact that I have less time to get things done... But... you know... I got things done.

I'm not going to say it's easy. I've basically given up on my reading until I've 1) finished formatting Endless and 2) finished the rewrite I'm currently working on.

I've also swapped my whole writing routine around so that I can write at night and an hour every morning instead of in the late afternoon and early evening as I'm used to.

But write, I am writing. And apparently at an amazing rate.

So if you're in the same boat where you're struggling to find your usual writing time, don't give up. 

If you can find five minutes every day, write for five minutes. If you can find twenty minutes, write for twenty minutes. No, it might not be the hour you believe you need, but it adds up to a whole lot more than nothing if you keep waiting for that perfect hour to show up.

And there you have it. My secret to writing a lot of words.

How much time in a day do you usually use to write? Have you ever needed to swap your routine around to fit your writing in? 

When commitment to your story fails you.

I like helping new writers make sense of this writing gig. It's my way of giving back to my community. Which is a big reason why I enjoy hanging around on Wattpad. (Yes, I have indeed warmed to it.)

A whole lot of writers there are in fact still learning. Which means many writers are asking for advice. (A good thing, because it gives me fodder to write about.)

One of those things that people keep asking about is about commitment.

Things like: "How do I stay committed to the stories I'm writing? I always start stories, but I never finish them."

Usually, my immediate response would be: "Say no to the shiny new ideas, then. Make a choice to stay committed and keep going."

BUT.

I think there's more going on to this question than "You're just not committed."

Why?

Well, I think back to when I was a writer learning the craft. I started seven drafts that I was excited about. I finished exactly none of them. At the time, I also thought it was commitment issues. Which was why, when draft number 8 came along, I started blogging about it as an accountability measure.

The thing is, in retrospect, I realized that The Vanished Knight happened as the result of a happy coincidence of commitment and just enough writing knowledge to get by.

Because in those other seven drafts, I'd be all excited and write, then suddenly something would just make me go meh and stop. And that something is my whole point.

That something was something that was wrong with the story. A Mary-Sue character. Lack of conflict. Lack of stakes. Lack of proper motivation. Lack of focus. (And on... and on... and on.)

There's always something that makes a serious difference between our expectation and reality. And when we realize that reality isn't stacking up, we stop.

That's what I did. (In fact, I still do it. I just changed my habits a slight bit.)

So how did I finish The Vanished Knight? (Actually that's a much longer story, but anyway.) I fell in love with the characters and concept and committed myself to finish it. Same as always. Except I added a blog to keep myself motivated. But that would NOT have helped me if not for the next thing I did.

I committed myself to figuring out what went wrong in the previous "failed" drafts so that I didn't make those same mistakes again. 

Yes. I recognized that there would be flaws in my story ahead of time and set about correcting them before they happened. And this time, I was lucky enough that I had learned enough to get all the way to the end. 

So if you're still struggling with finishing your first book, take heart. Use all your previous mistakes as lessons. Find what made them stop working, and then make sure you're not doing the same things in your current project. I promise you that you;ll at least get further than you did before. (Unless you go chasing after every bright idea that comes your way. In which case, read here.)

To the new kids: How many tries have you made? To the old hands at this writing thing: How many tries did it take you to finish one book? 

How to Get Back Into the Writing Groove

Lately, my advice posts have fell a bit to the way-side. Mainly, I blame a bit of a writer's burn-out that I suffered from since mid-November.

It's hard enough to write a thoughtful, useful post without feeling like I'm sipping yogurt through a thin straw. (Don't know what I mean? Try it sometime. The feeling compares remarkably well to writing while burned out.)

The only thing I advise people to do when burned out is to rest. But what to do when the burn-out is gone and you just can't get into the writing groove again? 

Oh, I'm glad you asked. 

I know that everyone is different, but I've found that the following steps work for me: 

Step 1: Find a big enough stick. 

I'm serious. Resting during a burn-out is all about spoiling ourselves rotten and doing all those things we usually do to procrastinate without feeling guilty about it. This is a good thing in its time, but now that time is over. But why promise yourself a reward when you're already in the zone of instant gratification? 

It just won't work. So find what will really make yourself feel crap if you don't do it within a certain time, and commit to it now. I picked saying yes to two anthologies and setting up a book for pre-order. 

Of the two, the pre-order thing is worse. I like having the pre-order option. And Amazon will take that option away for a year if I don't submit the finished work in time. See? Pretty big stick. 

And already, I've started making sure that I'll have everything done. Just make sure that the big stick won't be falling too soon. You've got to be reasonable. Setting something up for pre-orders a week from now isn't reasonable unless you were close to done to begin with. 

Step 2: Get into the habit of delayed gratification.

You used to do this before. It's not so hard. Say: "Yes, I want to watch TV, but first I need to finish this chapter."

This is a tricky thing to do, because the excuses are a dime a dozen. But if you want to get that book done, you need to say: "Later." to everything that isn't finishing your book. 

Except, you know, your family needing your attention or something like that. Family is important. Writing is important. Sometimes, friends are important. TV.... not so much. 

And be careful of the social networking you "need" to do. Not that important either. 

Step 3: Find a nice, juicy carrot. 

That's the nice thing about delayed gratification. Telling yourself you'll do something after finishing a chapter means that you'll want to finish that chapter even if it's only to get to a guilt-free session of that other thing. 

I go a bit bigger, though. I've promised myself something really nice and expensive if I publish my book on time. Actually, that was a new laptop, but the old one broke. So I'm going to have to think of something else. 

I'll probably feed my addiction to pretty notebooks. (NOTE: if you're ever a die-hard fan that wants to send me stuff for Christmas or my birthday... NOTEBOOKS. The beautiful hard-cover kinds with the high quality paper.) 

In the short term, I promised myself a decadent chocolate and banana smoothie once I've finished this post. 

Step 4: Actually write, nitwit. 

You know? It's kind of important. 

And that's pretty much it. Simple, right? 

How do you get back into the writing groove after a long break? 

Back to the subject of putting books on pre-order. I'll be putting Endless up on Amazon this weekend. It's already up on B&N, Kobo and Apple. In the meantime, though, I'm looking for people who'd like to help me spread the word in May after the launch. If you're interested, please click here. Thanks! You're awesome.

The Point to Being a Writer

It's been a while since I did one of these sorts of posts, but I think this is a good time to bring it up. Again. See, I do mention this every now and then.

But then, writers need reminding of this every so often. I'm especially looking at you guys who (like me) have big goals and things to achieve.

See, goals are a good thing. I truly believe they are. They give us something to work towards, which gives us purpose. This purpose gives us determination and determination (and quite a bit of dumb luck) is what sees us through.

All very good things.

However goals can become millstones around our necks. They weigh us down with the sheer amount of measurable things we did not achieve. Or make us highly aware of how far we are from where we've seen ourselves at the end of some arbitrarily chosen moment. (End of the year, at the end of five years, etc.)

This millstone effect affects most people, but for writers and other artists, there's an extra danger: It can and does kill our creativity.

Everyone's motivation for writing differs a little bit. Often, we write for a variety of reasons. Maybe just because you like reading and thought it would be fun to write and it was. Maybe you have this huge drive to produce something, anything or your life just doesn't feel complete. Or you need to write to process your emotions. And so on.

A lot of us find that, even if there are all these wonderful reasons to write, we just never seem to spend enough time on actually doing it. TV creeps in. Facebook sucks up time. All those million little distractions gang up on us and if we're not careful, whole days go by without us writing. Which isn't good.

Goal setting with accountability makes us careful with out time. We want to have something to show those we are accountable to, so we start building habits of carving out writing time for ourselves. See? It is a good thing.

But the flip side is that sometimes, through no fault of our own, we just can't make those goals. Usually, it takes only a short moment of introspection to recognize when that's happened. You don't say "I wanted to write, but those crazy cat pictures took over my life and I just couldn't." But when things higher up on your priority list comes up (e.g. in matters of survival, or family issues, health issues etc.), there will be times when you. just. can't.

This is perfectly fine, but those goals still loom and suddenly, people are asking: "Oh, what's the point?"

And then they're miserable. Because suddenly, nothing they've done is good enough. Now nothing they've written gets them anywhere and writing becomes this pointless cause of self flagellation until we're not even sure we like being writers anymore.

So. Because I've been seeing a lot of you guys talking about this lately, I decided to be awesome and answer your question...

Whats the point? 

Writing 

is 

the 

point. 

Not earning a living from our writing. (That's the point of publishing, but that's not the matter at hand.) Not becoming a bestselling writer. (Nice, but not the point.) Not publishing to schedule because some other blogger said you need a certain rate of output to succeed. 

I repeat. 

WRITING is the POINT.

PERIOD.

Your love of writing should be the be all and end all of all points when you're a writer, or you're toast. See here's the thing. It's okay to want to make a living at what you love (which is what seems to be the root of all these issues we're having), but when the expectations you set of yourself to make it happen makes you unhappy, you can't blame that thing you love for your unhappiness. 

Your expectations are the problem. 

So. 

What to do to straighten out your concerns about writing and find some semblance of serenity? 

I propose a one-round game of Would You Rather. 

If publishing was never an option to you, ever,

Would you rather...

Continue writing anyway

or

Stop writing and do something else? 

Now adjust your life and/or thinking accordingly.

You're welcome. 

A to Z of Things Writers Should Know About Writing: Underwhelmed

I'm still on my mission to complete my A to Z Challenge theme, and I'm actually feeling like I'm finally in my home stretch.

And today, I'm writing about a biggie.

Writers all have to come to terms with this simple fact or we simply couldn't function as writers.

First drafts almost never live up to the pictures we have in our minds.

(Unless we're temporarily delusional.)

I wish I can say that it becomes better, but really, all that happens is we learn to expect that compared to our idea, the draft will suck. So we're not as crushed when we find this when we re-read what we've written. 

Why is this, though? Why don't we just write the idea the way we have in our mind? 

Well... For one thing, writing is hard. Don't ever let someone tell you it isn't. Furthermore, our minds have a way of making ideas look incredibly shiny, because along with just the basic idea, we also see how we expect it to look and feel in the end. But the truth is that this sense of perfection is an illusion. 

It's a nice illusion. It helps us be excited enough about our ideas to commit to the writing. 

But as soon as words start appearing on paper, you'll find you don't have exactly the right words to get the feels across that you have. You'll discover plot-holes you never considered (even if you did plot). You'll discover that the characters simply refuse to act in the way that you need them to in order to bring your vision about. 

Or you'll get to the end and reread the whole thing, find that you got almost everything that you envisaged down and... it... just... sucks. 

There's not really all that much that you can do about it. The translation from idea to draft is never perfect, and there's not much you can do to change this. 

You can, however, change the way you see and react to the imperfection. 

I think all writers come to terms with imperfection in various ways, but this is what I do: 

1) When reading what I've written, I make note of flaws and weaknesses, but focus on the positives. No, no one's rough draft sucks in its entirety. There's always something worth keeping. Your job is to find that thing. And make note of all the things you need to change in order to improve your story. 

2) Remember that it's always better to have one sucky draft than a million good ideas. This might seem counter-intuitive, but an idea is worth very little until you have it written on paper. Especially because of our mind's way of making things look shinier in our thoughts than in reality. Once the story is written, we can fix it no matter how bad it looks. (Even if it takes a rewrite.) But if you don't ever write it, there's nothing you can do to it.

So yes, be underwhelmed, but remember that a sucky first draft is just part of the process. And be glad that you're underwhelmed, because it will help you in edits later.

How do you deal with first draft suckage? Are you struggling with first draft suckage at the moment?

A to Z of Things Writers Should Know About Writing: Procrastination

For those of you who missed the A to Z Challenge (or just forgot because I'm taking forever to finish the series), I'm currently writing about the A to Z of things writers (especially new ones) should know about writing.

Today I'm tackling Procrastination, because it's a pain in the butt.

I mean seriously. We're writers. We love writing. We love having stories to share with the world. It's like breathing to us. Things just don't feel right unless we're working on our stories.

You'd think that it means that we just hop to work whenever we have time to write.

Weeeeeeeeeeellllll... 

No. 

No, we don't. 

Because there's tv and chores and all manner of "legit" activities like social networking or refreshing ranking pages to death to see if our book babies are doing okay.

Really, though, it reminds me of this scene in Stuart Little. Except in this case, we're both the mouse and the cat at the same time. Or maybe Stuart is the good writer side and the cat's the bad writer side. Either way, the cat having his way and not doing what he should usually ends up with someone getting hurt. (Or with writing not happening, which does hurt.)




The sad thing is that we do this to ourselves all the time. Especially when we know that some major deadline is looming over us. It makes us feel like we're totally overwhelmed. Drowning even. But instead of just sitting down and just getting the stuff done, we make things worse by doing:

Nothing. 

Which of course overwhelms us even more.

Really. Try not to do this. It's a vicious circle. Because it makes you not enjoy writing even though you love it. Have you ever loved something and not like something (or someone) at the same time? It's incredibly frustrating.

The thing is, if you no longer like writing, you'll put it off more, which means that it overwhelms you even more later. Which makes you like it less. And on it goes.

Stop the cycle. Don't put writing off when you can do it right now. Put off the things you want to do now but know you could do later.

Trust me. Your writing will thank you for it.

Any addicted or reforming procrastination addicts here today? What's your method of choice? If it's blogging: STOP NOW AND GO WRITE.

After you've commented, of course. ;-)

A to Z Challenge: Kinks

Don't worry. I'm not going all 50 Shades on you today. Honestly, I guess I could have called this something else, but I had a shortage of relevant words starting with K, so deal with it.

It is, however, a very important thing that all writers should know about writing.

Namely:

You can do what you want. You can plan. You can decide on your road to the end of the story. You can decide how fast you write or how a small thing in your story will have a huge impact in the end.

Your characters (if they're at all well constructed) will invariably screw it up.

No really. To most of us (or at least I think so), our characters are real people. And no matter how good an idea you think you have, if they disagree, your story ain't going anywhere.

So, no matter how straight a line you're setting out on when you start to write a story, there will always be some unexpected kinks to it. (See what I did there?)

It's not all doom and gloom, though. Often, those kinks actually make the story much better than what you'd set out to do in the first place. Especially if what you wanted would have negated your character's motivation, personality etc.

So go with it. See where it goes. If it doesn't work out, you can always go back and wangle things to make them work the way you'd planned. Don't do that right off though, because characters like to believe they're really the ones in control.

Failing that, try bribing characters. They like bribes.

Anyone else have characters who like to have their own way? How do you deal with it? 

A to Z Challenge: Beginnings

Continuing with my theme of Things Writers Should Know About Writing, I'm exploring one of the most difficult things that writers encounter. 

Beginnings 

If you've ever started a fiction project, you must have some idea of what I'm talking about. 

Blank pages are terrifying. No seriously. I've had to do with very few writers in my life who doesn't know what it's like to have a bright idea, but draw a blank once we have a blank page in front of us. Suddenly, the words we'd had is gone. And we sit. 

And sit. 

And sit. 

Staring at that blank page, pens or typing fingers poised. 

Waiting for the words when they don't want to come. 

Then you finally get past it and write the first chapter, the second... the third... You start to think you're safe. After all, you're in the middle of the story now, right? 

Wrong. 

Every chapter has a beginning, which means that every chapter has a beginning. And that blank you draw can strike at any of them. 

The good news is: this is absolutely normal. 

The bad news: Well... there's not really a cure. Those blanks will come and there's not all that much that you can do to stop it. 

More good news: You can deal with it. When I get stuck on a blank page, I write down anything vaguely related to what I want to happen. Once that sentence is on the page, it's a lot less difficult to continue. Other people try to cut down on the number of blank beginnings by always ending in the middle of a scene or chapter. Some people, follow Jack Torrance's example in The Shining. Not the bit where he chops through the door. Although, if you're really that frustrated with beginnings... You might want to go have a lie down. 

No, I'm talking about his habit of writing All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Basically, he writes anything on that blank page so it isn't blank anymore. 

It works. No really. Any of my suggestions work because our fear of the blank page is a psychological issue. So, the solution is to find a way to trick the brain into thinking the blank page isn't there any more. 

See? Simple. 

Now PUT THAT AX DOWN!

What do you beat the blank page blank outs? If you're new, which suggestion are you going to try? 

A to Z Challenge: Alone

Hi all! Just a heads-up that I've also posted on Unicorn Bell today about my dilemma when a nasty character changes the way the story's unfolding.

But now, let's get into the Challenge.

My theme for this year is The Things All Writers Should Know About Being Writers. I'm starting with a biggie.

Alone

Unless you're doing a co-writing project, this is probably going to be the word that best describes your writing experience.

There are other words (aggravating, satisfying, challenging, ambitious, for example) that also work, but if it comes down to it, writing is a solitary experience. Yes, you're still going to go outside and live life. You've still got your family and friends. 

There comes a time, though, that you're going to have to withdraw from it all (even if for only a few hours) so that you can get some words down. 

When you're new to this writing gig, you're probably going to find that no one else understands this. They will want to draw you into their activities, to distract you with things like wanting some of your time. And even if they're supportive of your writing, they still won't understand the amount of blood, sweat and tears that actually goes into a story. 

They definitely won't understand what compels you to withdraw in the first place. 

You're going to try to explain it and will probably fail. My own family has accused me of being anti-social, a hermit, of thinking myself better than them, of losing all outside interests etc etc back when I was starting out with seriously writing to finish a project. Were they right? More often than not, no. Basically, they were worried about me because I, a TV addict, had suddenly stopped watching TV in the evenings and withdrew after work and dinner so that I could write. 

Because in the end, no matter how social we try to make writing by connecting to other writers, writing is a solitary activity. 

Just don't take it too far, though. Don't begrudge life for taking you away from your writing for a few short hours. It's easy to become so absorbed in our writing that we don't want to do anything else. But the good memories are made by doing things with those you love. 

So make sure that you're never so alone that you don't really live. 

Veteran writers: How do you keep life balanced with withdrawing to write?
New writers: Have you been struggling with this? 

Heads-up! I've changed my comment form to pop-ups because the embedded version seems to be giving some people trouble. Word verification is turned off, though, so you can ignore the block that says "Prove you're not a robot." Sadly, I can't seem to remove it. Stupid Blogger. 

Just a quick check-in

Yay! I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. All because I'm going to have proper Internet again real soon. 

Think I'm being stupid for being so ridiculously happy? Try not having Internet for a month. It's sorta nice in week one. It's really nice in week two. In week three, there's a sense that you're cut off. In week four, it feels like you're going to die from withdrawals. 

Fortunately for me, the funny season is about to come to an end, which means that I'll have Internet by the end of next week at the latest. That's probably the soonest I'm going to get it too, since I now live on a farm that's more than a little remote, so ISP is collecting jobs so that they don't have to drive out for one unless they absolutely have to. 

Still, it means I'll be back to blogging soon. And visiting you all. I really can't wait to catch up with all of you. Those visits are more than a little overdue. 

In the meantime, I thought I'd let you know about how my goals for January are coming along. 

By yesterday, I've finished rewriting the Western/Romance, and finished drafting all of the books I'd been working on last year. I've also read two books. So I can safely say that progress is being made. 

Right now, though, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have that short story for the Untethered Realms Anthology to write, but about a quarter of the way in, it's still not moving past the concept stage. As in, I have an awesome character, but the story just ain't happening. 

Which sucks. I really really want to have a story to send in, but my goals puts a wrinkle in it. Because let's face it, if I want to finish at least half of the goals outlined, I can't waste time on stories that just won't come. It's happened to two of my drafts from last year. The concept is awesome, but the story isn't there. 

What's the point on trying to force it out when I could be writing something that's got all the aspects in place already? Or rewriting. Or editing. Or even starting a new concept and seeing if I can form a story from it already? Because that's the thing. I never know unless I try it first. 

If I put something aside for now, it gives that story months, years even to incubate. Yes, I will write every single one of them, for as long as I see the merit. 

The thing is, this short story is messing with me now. It has a deadline which isn't my own. That means I either find a way to write it this week, or I don't publish in the anthology this year. See the big thing is that my brain isn't wired for short stories, but I'm proud of the few I have written in the past few years. I want to be proud of the work I create. 

All of the work I create. So I'm not just going to put a story together that's below my standards. It's either there, or it's not. And if it's not by Sunday, I'm moving on. That is my goal for now. (If it's not a goal, I might end up clinging to the story when it's really just wasting my time.) 

Everything else going on in my life is on hold pending either the return of Internet or the end of the holiday or both. I do feel like I have a lot to say this year, though, which bodes well for my blogging. Soon. 

How are you doing? 

Shelley Sly on Writing With a Chronic Illness

Writing isn’t easy when you’re sick or in pain all the time. As someone who suffers from chronic migraines and fibromyalgia, I’ve had to find ways to remain productive even when I’m feeling sick for weeks at a time.

Some things that have worked for me:

1) Working While Resting

When I have a headache that feels like someone’s stabbing my eyes, or I’m leaning over a trash can about to vomit, I’m obviously not able to get anything done. But if I’m just feeling drowsy from medicine, or feeling too achy to move but not so sick that I’m about to pass out, I try to use my time wisely.

I keep a pencil and Post-Its by my bed, so while I’m resting, I can take notes on future story ideas or jot down ways to improve my current manuscript. If I can tolerate a bright screen, I’ll sometimes email myself story notes on my phone. If I’m too sick to write or email, sometimes I’ll just let my mind wander and see what kind of story ideas I come up with. (And with the migraine meds I take, sometimes I come up with really weird stuff!)

Resting and recovering is the absolute priority, but there’s no harm in doing a lot of thinking during that time.

2) Utilizing Waiting Time

While people with chronic illness frequently lose time in their day from feeling sick, they also lose time because of doctor appointments. I, personally, spend a ton of time in waiting rooms. But I bring a notebook with me and use this time to get writing done.

Now, I’m not the type to write by hand, so this means I prepare my notebook ahead of time with some information from my current WIP’s Word document. Usually just a few notes that tell me what just happened in that scene.

Other ways I’ve used waiting room time wisely include reading books on the craft of writing, reading other books in my genre, and bringing a printed out manuscript and going over it with a red pen. (I only did this once, and it was a time when I had to wait over an hour in a waiting room. It was fabulous.)

Being chronically ill can be a pain—literally—but I don’t let it take away too much of my writing time.

Thanks, Misha, for letting me share my experiences!



Shelley Sly lives in the Washington, D.C. area with her husband and their chocolate lab mix. Her debut middle grade novel, Wishing for Washington, is available on Amazon.com and BN.com. You can find her at www.shelleysly.com.

Perspective

I'm not going to lie.

The past few weeks has had me the lowest I've been in a long time when it comes to my writing.

I mean, being treated the way I am - by people I am supposed to trust - just really demoralized me. I mean... what's the point of spending years on preparing books for publishing, only to experience a loss of control over those books I never expected?

But you see, here's the thing. I want my books read, yes. And I do deserve not to have a publishing house treating me like shit. But neither publishing, nor editors' compliments, nor good reviews are why I am in this gig.

No. It's not about preparing books for publishing at all. It's about writing.

And I write because I love it. I love my characters. I adore letting myself submerge into worlds of my own creation. To me, writing is almost a heightened sense of being. And nothing.

NOTHING.

Gives me the same buzz as something happening in a book I'm writing that I didn't see coming.

That's why I write. If no one in the world sees the next thing I finish, I'll be disappointed. And when people screw me over, I'll be furious. I'll do everything I possibly can to defend my rights.

But the point is that I'm not letting these people define my life to the extent where they negatively affect my creativity. They're not worth the aggravation.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm letting go of my anger. I'm focusing on refilling those creative wells. And I'm getting myself to where that desire to write and perfect what I've written outstrips everything else.

Because that's what I want to get back to. The pure joy that comes from doing what I love. And a distance and clarity I'll need to keep the story I love from being exploited in ways I can't allow.

When I can do that, (and note, I'm not saying "if".) I can really say that I've become a pro at my job.

Because pro writers don't sit forever, dwelling on the negatives and blaming them for why they can't write. They write. They create. They edit. Despite all the shit that might fly around them.

So, ladies and gents. That's where I am. Right now I'm going a bit of thoughtless creativity in the form of crochet (tip from experience: repetitive actions calm the mind and allow perspective from difficult events.). But as of tonight, I'm going to get myself back into writing mode. Even if it's just random prompts by the hundred.

I WILL WRITE.

You've got that scary feeling...

Hey there, new kid. You know that feeling when you're about to start a new story?

That sense that you're not prepared. That you're never going to get the right story down and that the sentences will be all clunky and that your verbs will be weak and that there's absolutely NO WAY that you're going to make this story work.

Yeah. That feeling. The one that assails you the moment you face your first blank page.

Well... It never goes away. I've written for almost thirteen years now. I've finished... Two books to publishing standards, and five more rough drafts as well as four rewrites.

I've made all of those stories work except for one, and I'm working on it as soon as I put up this blog, because I now know what's wrong with it.

But last night, I started working on my mystery project and... I spent about fourteen hours playing games, two watching t.v. one and a half sleeping... Yeah. You get the idea. The amount of time I actually spent writing was about an hour.

All because every time I wanted to start, that feeling hit me. And me, choosing terrible moments to be undyingly optimistic about my writing, assumed I could start when the feeling went away.

Needless to say, it didn't. So by about 7 p.m. last night, I thought back to my previous drafts. With Doorways (the two publish quality books), I was all out terrified! I delayed starting by six months. SIX MONTHS. Because the thought of writing a story so epic and complex paralyzed me. ES, the book I'm writing yet again, has given me this feeling three times. Every time I tried to write it. With last year's NaNo, I got such terrible cold feet on October 31st that I almost gave up before I started.

But you know what? Whether something takes me a day, a week, months or even years, I always start an idea I have. Because if I didn't, nothing I ever wanted to write would get written, and my life would have been emptier for it.

So if you're about to start a new story and that feeling hits you, just chill. But do work through it. Because the only way to make the feeling fade for long enough to finish a story is to actually start writing it. Any you know what? Most of the time, those fears are unfounded anyway.

What was the worst time you got hit by this feeling? How long did it take you to start writing?

By the way, I posted more details on my query, synopsis, first chapter critique at Unicorn Bell. So if you need a fresh pair of eyes, please do check it out. :-)

This would have made an awesome IWSG post

It's strange and wonderful for me to think of all the skills I've learned since finishing my first ever rough draft. I guess I always knew I'd improved, but nothing made that improvement as glaringly obvious as working on the second rough draft I ever finished.

Some of you will know from my previous posts that said project fell by the wayside after the rewrite was lost in a back-up disaster. (Yes, I lost the whole thing WHILE backing it up, which meant I lost the back-ups as well.)

Anyway, I reread the rough draft and... well... it wasn't good. I still really liked the characters, but the tension sagged all over the place.

So I put up a rewrite structure (i.e. I planned what I wanted to do with the rewrite). Things went well for the first three chapters. Until I realized that I'd matured so much as a writer that I wouldn't actually be able to work with what I had.

*SIIIIIIIGH*

Anyway... I guess it's a good thing. My muse got me involved enough with the story that I actually want to make it awesome. The less than awesome thing is that I'm now basically drafting on my computer (which I hate), but I'm too deep into the story to start again by hand at well over 20k words. On the other hand...

No.

But...

NO.

I'm committed to getting the story done, and I don't think doing so by writing an infinite number of first drafts will help me get there.

But really. I seriously - SERIOUSLY - hate rough drafting on the computer. Because the moment I slow down, I have this insane desire to go back and delete every single thing I wrote.

It's something I always struggled with. It's the reason why I write in pen. There's no way to delete thousands of words on impulse if you have it down in ink.

With my computer... the chance is there, and it's very tempting.

On the other hand, I know hand drafting works, and it works for a reason. And I know I threw out the entire rough draft. So maybe bending my own rules a bit makes sense.

I mean sure, it might set the project back by at least six months, but isn't that better than getting stuck in my own head and getting delayed as a result in any case?

Thoughts?

Getting out of my comfort zone

You know, nothing has taught me so much about me as a writer as signing that publishing contract.

I know, weird, eh?

I mean, I'm a writer pure and simple, so publishing shouldn't really have an influence on me being one. Yet it does, I think in a good way.

See, when I signed the contract, I created an obligation towards my publishing house, which means that the book I promised  them has to be a priority for me in ways none of my other books are.

Which means that if they need that book to be revised during NaNo, that book has to be revised. No buts, ifs, or whys. And that's where I'm learning now.

Before, I could say that I couldn't combine drafting with editing, because it takes time for my mind to switch gears. True as it is, I couldn't just say that in November. I had to get some drafting done because I'm trying to create a "production line" of sorts, and I don't think I'll get another chance to draft before February/March next year. December's for editing Birds vs. Bastards. 

So that made complete sense until my editor let me know that I needed to get my book in by end November. With saying no and not drafting both not being options, I said yes and found a way to make it work.

Turns out that once you're writing fit (as I am nowadays), switching gears really isn't that hard. So I did those revisions in about two weeks and got right back to drafting, and I even won NaNo.

If I hadn't had the book under contract, I would never even have tried to work like that. To me, thou shalt not edit and draft at the same time was one big rule to my writing method. Being under contract pushed me beyond my self-imposed comfort zone, into a place where I can be even more efficient as a writer.

Which is great really, since it makes my five year goal that much more achievable.

So today I  want to say: Don't get stuck in a comfort zone. Find ways to push yourself gently, but firmly into places where you can grow as a writer. Even if it means writing something you'd never thought you'd write. Or changing up when or how you write. Sometimes those changes might be exactly what you need to get to the next level.

Have you pushed yourself as a writer lately? What did you do and how did it turn out?