Hey all! Sorry for my extended absence. I wish I could promise that it won't happen again, but I'm heading into my final exams.
I'm not quite into creative writing mode yet, so we're back to a bare-bones update.
Firstly, thanks very much for all your good wishes. I felt very special when I read them. Unfortunately I didn't get the job, but reading that you guys and girls cared really made me feel better.
I'm still waiting to hear about my economics exam, which has now effectively changed the way I can write my exams. Basically my exams could very likely end in December. Needless to say that I'm seeing my NaNo hopes and my dreams of actually finishing my MS this year crumbling to dust. I'm still going to write every day in study breaks though. But I don't know if I'll make any of the above mentioned goals.
Emotionally I'm a little on edge, which is one big reason why I decided to take a postponement on my exam that was due tomorrow. I was supposed to have started studying on Monday last, but life's and university's little interruptions got in the way. Usually this wouldn't bother me. After all, I can get a pass on an afternoon's studying. But then... I can get a lovely round number 0 too. So, since I have choice on this, I decided to rather not take the gamble. Not when my head isn't on as straight as it was two weeks ago.
I really can't deal with studying and my now new found uncertainty in myself at the same time. It's like trying to read a book (a somewhat boring one, I might add) and having something scream in your ear just before you manage to get into it.
I don't know why, or what it is, but something this weekend really hurt my soul. Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that I brushed aside for later that came back when I was dealing with the disappointment of not even making round two interviews on my dream job. Maybe I'm just tired. Sitting in a queue from 09h00 to 16h30 can do that to you if what's at the end of the queue might determine your foreseeable future.
Either way I'm taking today (and maybe tomorrow morning) to center myself. Problem is that I've never been particularly good at this. But I have to try, because the cost of not trying is just a little too much for me. Usually I write when I start feeling down, but I'm beyond that now to the point where I'm in too bad a place to pick up a pen.
I really hope that I feel a bit better by tomorrow.
Do any of you get hit hard by the "downs" at bad times? How do you get out of them?