Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday Update

Hey all! Sorry for my extended absence. I wish I could promise that it won't happen again, but I'm heading into my final exams.

I'm not quite into creative writing mode yet, so we're back to a bare-bones update.

Firstly, thanks very much for all your good wishes. I felt very special when I read them. Unfortunately I didn't get the job, but reading that you guys and girls cared really made me feel better.

I'm still waiting to hear about my economics exam, which has now effectively changed the way I can write my exams. Basically my exams could very likely end in December. Needless to say that I'm seeing my NaNo hopes and my dreams of actually finishing my MS this year crumbling to dust. I'm still going to write every day in study breaks though. But I don't know if I'll make any of the above mentioned goals.

Emotionally I'm a little on edge, which is one big reason why I decided to take a postponement on my exam that was due tomorrow. I was supposed to have started studying on Monday last, but life's and university's little interruptions got in the way. Usually this wouldn't bother me. After all, I can get a pass on an afternoon's studying. But then... I can get a lovely round number 0 too. So, since I have choice on this, I decided to rather not take the gamble. Not when my head isn't on as straight as it was two weeks ago.

I really can't deal with studying and my now new found uncertainty in myself at the same time. It's like trying to read a book (a somewhat boring one, I might add) and having something scream in your ear just before you manage to get into it.

I don't know why, or what it is, but something this weekend really hurt my soul. Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that I brushed aside for later that came back when I was dealing with the disappointment of not even making round two interviews on my dream job. Maybe I'm just tired. Sitting in a queue from 09h00 to 16h30 can do that to you if what's at the end of the queue might determine your foreseeable future.

Either way I'm taking today (and maybe tomorrow morning) to center myself. Problem is that I've never been particularly good at this. But I have to try, because the cost of not trying is just a little too much for me. Usually I write when I start feeling down, but I'm beyond that now to the point where I'm in too bad a place to pick up a pen. 

I really hope that I feel a bit better by tomorrow. 

Do any of you get hit hard by the "downs" at bad times? How do you get out of them?

22 comments:

  1. I really hope you feel better very soon, Misha. And I’m so sorry about the job. There will be something better! :)
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

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  2. Sounds like you have a lot on the go. It's hard to juggle so much and keep your head up. After awhile you have to look down at the ground where your feet are. I think taking a break and only doing what absolutly needs to be done helps me--like work and homework. The other stuff isn't crucuial and feeling successful in a couple of things fuels me to do the other stuff again. Hope you feel better soon!

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  3. Hey Misha, Head up!

    I've been unemployed for some time now so i know how you feel. Don't take the job rejections too personally, that's what I'm trying to do - things will just grind you down otherwise. Have faith in yourself and just be persistent! But at the end of the day, it's too easy to get bogged down by things that seem hige now but in 6 months will be forgotten. Keep going, laugh at the knockbacks and get back in the ring!

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  4. When I get really down I need a change of perspective. For me that's usually brought about by rigorous physical activity--most often a hike into the mountains. Away from the day to day grind and any distractions I can remember where I want to go and determine what I need to do to get there. Hang on, Misha, there truly is a silver lining in every cloud.

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  5. You don't even know! Really, it's like everything bad hits at once. You'll get through it.

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  6. Sorry to hear that about the job. =[ Hoping something good will come your way. Hang in there!

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  7. Happens to me a lot, and I'm not sure how to get out of it or over it. Seems like it gets harder for me every year that goes by. If you stumble on an answer, let me know.

    In the meantime, Misha, rest assured of my prayers and support from overseas.

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  8. Oh no!! I'm sorry to hear bad news but something will come around for you! Hang in there girl!!

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  9. Hey Misha, I hope you start feeling better soon.

    I get hit hard with the blues during tough times, too. All you can really do is pull yourself up out of it and keep on moving. Feel better!!!

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  10. Wine, chocolate and cigarettes ...oh, and cheese. Any one of these can make anything better, but combined ... fantastic.

    I'm really sorry to hear you didn't get the job. I hope your exams go well. Good luck. And feel better.

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  11. Sorry about the job! Try to cheer up. It wasn't meant to be, and for all you know there was a troll lurking under the desk and you just escaped an otherworldly fate that might have been quite painful.
    ;)

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  12. GAMMABLIXT


    SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

    There's much in the world that you can't explain.
    It's revealed for you to remember
    by the whispering voice of a distant train
    or a midnight rain in november.

    Horizon within! You can always find
    the keys to Enigma. Let's mention
    one basic Truth: of spirited Mind
    is Nature naught but extension.

    Internal expanses! In dreams, ridden
    by fear and longing you roam
    that deep Southeast in your soul hidden
    ...on your random journey back home.

    ---

    As a native Swede, I am particularly proud of my love poetry suite Sonnets for Katie.

    My Poems

    *

    La présence; un coup de vie morte? non, ce n'est qu'être. Et puis pour l'errante fenêtre: étant vue la nuit, dans tous le coins des rues de la veille la même étoile.

    *

    Poétudes

    *

    Schwarzez birne!
    Aufforderung zur Erotik.

    Fremde Gedichte

    *

    My Spanish Poetry

    *

    My Laptop Wallpaper Art



    And: reciprocity: for mutual benefit, you will do me a favor promoting your own blog on mine!

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    Yours,

    - Peter Ingestad, Sweden

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  13. Hey all. Thanks so very much for your support!

    I do feel a bit better, but tomorrow is make-or-break. I've been summoned to see the head of the economics department. So... I already know that a lot of you are praying for me. Could you please add this one to the list?

    I really really really need for him to say yes.

    Thanks. :-)

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  14. I know how you feel. Hopefully everything works out.

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  15. Hi Misha! Sorry about the job. I do have my share of a lot of 'downs' and experienced the same as yours but in the end, you know, things worked out better. Better opportunities will come your way. Looking back, I know this to be true. I hope you feel better soon. Sending you ((((HUGS))))). :)

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  16. Oh Misha - I'm so sorry about the job :( But don't worry, I've always believed that "everything happens for a reason" and I'm absolutely positive that there is a better job just waiting for you out there.

    I truly hope you feel better soon :)

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  17. I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, Misha. I hope things pick up for you soon!

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  18. Thanks all for dropping by and commenting :-)

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  19. I'm sorry you didn't get the job, Misha! I hope something else comes along for you!

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  20. Sure, all writers get that dreaded writer's block occasionally. Thing is, it's temporary. Just be patient for a day or 2, realize that some days you have to absorb, & soon you'll be back to writing. :)

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  21. Mostly I use Chocolate and good music. Best of luck to you!

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